When You're Ready
by LashawnS
Summary: Set between 6x09 and 6x10. Michonne is tired of being the strong one. So one drunk night, she finally lets Rick know exactly how she has been feeling for the past year. Her confession rocks their friendship to the core. (Richonne) Short story.
1. Chapter 1: Close to You

The house was dark as Michonne made her way inside with the moonlight being her only guide as she quietly shut the door behind herself and slightly stumbled to the staircase. Maybe she had too much wine tonight but it felt good to let go, even if she was going to have a small headache in the morning.

"Hey," his low rasp stopped her in her tracks as she placed her hand on the rail, steadying herself. "You're gettin' in pretty late...again."

Michonne swung her head around so fast she was surprised she didn't catch whiplash as she stared at the man she had been trying to avoid for the last few weeks.

Rick stood from their couch and made his way over to her, stopping inches away from her face. He had a tendency to ignore personal space once he was riled up and tonight wasn't an exception as his hot breath bounced off of her forehead. She slowly dragged her eyes from his chest up to his lips finally settling on the blue orbs that stared intensely back at her, waiting for her to speak.

"I'm surprised you noticed."

His head tilted to the side in his signature fashion as his eyes narrowed at the woman in front of him. He couldn't believe she would have the audacity to even say that to him. He noticed everything about her, especially the fact that she had been purposely avoiding him. But once Judith cried for her tonight, he knew it was time for him to say something.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not in the mood for this tonight, Rick." The way his name flew off of her heart shaped lips made him wince. She almost sounded disgusted.

"Too bad." He replied not breaking their stare.

Michonne let out a loud sigh and threw her arms in the air. After all of the time they spent together, she kept her shit together but not today. She was always strong while he was allowed to cry, throw temper tantrums, and even lose his sanity while she had to be the complete opposite, at least to the outside world.

The same could be said for her before the world fell apart. She was a successful, Black woman in Atlanta. Even though the city was the Black Mecca, she couldn't allow herself a moment of weakness. She couldn't afford the luxury to be weak or angry without a stereotype being slapped on her back. And she was tired. She wanted to be able to feel things openly. She wanted to cry because she thought _their _son was about to lose his life two months ago. But she had to hold it together while he went outside to face his potential death.

She would never forget the way Denise snapped at her like Carl wasn't a big part of _her _life, like he wasn't _her _son, _her _best friend. But she took it all in stride and did what needed to be done to save Carl when all she wanted to do was cry and breakdown because it felt like her son, Andre being taken away from her once again and she knew she wouldn't have been able to pull through this time.

"Can we talk about this in the morning?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Are you drunk?" Rick asked, stepping even closer to Michonne. "What's goin' on with you? Talk to me."

"Oh now you want to talk?" A low chuckle left her lips as she finally broke the eye contact they shared. "Rick, leave me alone. We can talk about this tomorrow. I'm not in the mood."

"Judith cried for you tonight." He went straight for the jugular. "You haven't been here to put her to bed for the past three nights. I know you're pissed at me for some unknown reason but there's no reason for you to punish the kids."

"I'm not punishing the kids."

"Could have fooled me." He scoffed and bent his head, trying to catch her eyes but she had averted her gaze once again.

"Want to talk about someone being a fool?" Another humorless chuckle left Michonne's lips as she finally gave Rick the eye contact he craved. "I am a fool."

"W-What are you talkin' bout?"

Michonne closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, exhaling even slower. She was trying her best to get her thoughts to calm down but they were growing louder. He was really standing in front of her, clueless.

"Just let me go to bed!" Her yell startled both of them. She didn't mean for it to come out like that but he was pushing her. "Just let me go to bed." She mumbled, damn near pleading.

"Could you please just talk to me." Rick's stance softened as he stared down at her, wishing she would open up to him. After Carl's shooting, she closed herself off to him and he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt his feelings because it did. "Michonne," she visibly tensed as he spoke her name.

"Okay," she nodded, giving in. "You really want to have this discussion?"

"I do." Rick reached for her hand but she snatched it out of his grasp and made her way to the couch. He watched her stumble a little before he ran his hand down his face and reached out to catch her as she plopped onto the piece of furniture with a loud thud.

"I got it." she roughly moved her arm away from his hand as he stared down at her, confused even more by the hostility she was throwing at him."Sit."

With a quick glance towards the stairs, Rick followed her instructions and sat in the chair adjacent to where she was seated.

"Why do you think you're a fool?" His voice was low but he knew she heard him.

"Do you know what I was before the turn?" She avoided his question with one of her own, knowing he didn't know the answer, so she answered before he could. "I was a lawyer. A big shot in metro Atlanta. I was the only Black female partner at my firm." A small smile graced her lips as she reminisced. "I had only been a partner for 3 months before the world turned to shit. I worked so hard. Stayed up late and isolated myself, damn near destroyed my relationship for that partnership." Her eyes stared off into the distance as she spoke. "Now it means nothing. All of that time I spent to create a better life for my s…"

Rick didn't say anything as he watched her closely. He was sure he knew what she was going to say but he didn't interrupt or want to assume, so he allowed her to collect her thoughts.

"All that time I spent to create a better life for my son and he couldn't even enjoy all of the opportunities." Michonne looked over at Rick, searching his eyes. He didn't seem shocked, he just looked sad and that was the last thing she wanted him to feel. The pity was not needed. "This world we live in now took him away from me. His father, he wasn't cut out for this. He didn't take it as seriously as he should have."

Her breath hitched in her throat as Rick's thumbs wiped her tears. She hadn't realized she was crying but she also wasn't surprised.

"All he did was get high and that's exactly what he was when I found him. High." She reached up and wiped her eyes. "He was holding our lifeless son in his arms and all I saw was red. I wanted to kill him but he was already dying. Him and his friend Terry had both been bit, so I let them turn. I mulilated them. Cut off their arms so they couldn't scratch and their jaws, so they couldn't bite." She looked away from Rick and sighed. "I even had to put down my own child." Her voice cracked before she let out another shaky breath. "Because his father failed to protect him."

Rick reached for her hand and she let him.

"I failed to protect him. I knew better but Mike wanted to feel like he wasn't being completely useless."

"What was your son's name?"

Michonne stared at Rick for a brief moment. "Andre."

He nodded and squeezed her hand. The contact made her feel safe and she was annoyed with herself for even giving him this much control of her. He didn't deserve it but she couldn't help how she felt.

"I felt like a fool for leaving my child with a man that hadn't adapted to this world. I felt like a fool for loving Andrea so much even when she easily turned against me." This time she broke their eye contact and closed her eyes. "I've never admitted that out loud."

Rick hadn't mumbled a word as he continued to stroke her hand with his thumb.

"I had protected her, nursed her back to health for 8 months and she turned on me in the blink of an eye for the first man that showed her some attention." The anger was clear in her tone. "But she was my friend. Maybe she didn't know it because I hadn't spoken much in that time but my actions were enough proof, you know?" Rick nodded as Michonne closed her eyes, trying to will herself to stop crying. "She was someone who helped me find my humanity again because I was so lost before her, before Carl, before you."

Her eyes traced Rick's face as she opened up to him.

"But you know what? I also felt like a fool for sharing this house with you and co-parenting with you."

His small ministration of her hand stopped immediately because he couldn't believe she had just said that.

"You were running around this damn community like a mad man, keeping secrets, conspiring, and sneaking around with Jesse while I was here with _your _children." She sat up this time and wiped her tears quickly. "You would probably be with her right now, not even paying attention to the fact that I've been coming home late if she was alive."

"How could you say some shit like that?"

Michonne's head jumped back at the sentence more than his angry tone. That tone was one she had become accustomed to but he was more hurt than anything. It was written on his face. "That's how I feel Rick. How would we have continued this arrangement? Eventually, the relationship with her would have developed to more and where would that have left me? Huh?" She wanted an answer to this question.

"You would have still been here." He furrowed his brows because he honestly didn't know why she thought it would have been any other way. "They're your kids too. You know that, Michonne."

"See that's the thing, Rick. They're not." She stood from the couch and shook her head. "She would have wanted my spot in their lives and although, Carl is mine until the end of time, Judith would have become accustomed to the change fairly quickly."

"You really think I would have let that happen?"

Michonne tilted her head and stared down at him. "Yes." She began her journey to the staircase, dreading the walk. "I'm goin' to bed."

On that note, she left a stunned Rick in the dark living room by himself digesting her words.

—

The next morning Rick made his way down the stairs to breakfast hearing laughing, music and talking along the way. He slowed to a stop at the entrance and stared at Michonne as she danced around the kitchen with a growing Judith on her hip. Carl was seated on a bar stool as he smiled at their interaction.

"Get up." Michonne was in front of the young man with her free hand extended. Carl shook his head, causing his long brown hair to fall over his eye. "Come on."

"I don't want to bump into you. You know I can't see that well." His somber tone made Rick's heart ache.

The music was down within a second as Michonne sat Judith down in her high chair, focusing fully on Carl. "Don't do that." Her tone was firm. "You beat the odds Carl and not only are you alive and breathing, you are making great progress. Morgan says you are building up more strength by the day. Please don't sell yourself short."

The teen shook his head slowly. "I just feel not whole. I just want to be all of the things I was before."

"But you're not. You're better." She emphasized. "You can do things I can't." A small smile appeared on her face. "Close your eyes and breathe in." She coached going over the breathing exercises Denise said would help him focus in on his new heightened senses. "Tell me what you hear."

"Dad in the doorway sniffling and someone just walked onto the front porch."

Everyone turned as the knock came to their front door.

"See!" Michonne pulled him into a hug. "I wouldn't have been able to hear that."

"Yes you would have." Carl tried to hide his prideful smile.

She placed her hands on both sides of his face. "No, I wouldn't have. Not in here and you know that. That is all you, Carl."

Rick left the scene and made his way to the door to see Spencer standing there. The young man looked up from his boots to the man of the house. "Good morning. Is Michonne up yet?" Rick furrowed his brow, wondering why the Monroe boy was at his doorstep at 8 in the morning. "She, um," he cleared his throat awkwardly. "She left her book at my house last night."

"Spence. Hey." Michonne walked into the room and placed her hand on Rick's shoulder as she stared at the visitor. "Thanks for bringing this by. I plan on staying home today, so this saved me a trip."

Spencer's eyes made their way from the ground and up Michonne's body. She stood in front of him in her favorite blue robe. The garment stopped mid thigh, giving him the full view of her chocolate legs. By the time, he made it up her torso and saw her perfect cleavage perfectly covered, his heart rate sped up as he finally handed over the item he was here to drop off.

"N-no problem." His eyes quickly shifted over to Rick's and he looked like he was ready to pounce on the young man. "I'll head out. Hope I'll see you later."

Michonne's cheeks heated a little under both of their gazes. "Sure. I'll stop by around 8? Is that good for you?"

"Yeah." He responded eagerly, wishing he played it more cool but the woman in front of him was one of the only people from the new residents that made his new life without his family manageable. Maybe he was trying to fill an unfillable void but it seemed like the beautiful woman in front of him was creating her own space in his life, unknowingly. "Have a nice day."

She stepped back inside of the house followed closely by Rick. They entered the kitchen as he finally greeted his children, keeping his eyes on the woman of the house as she avoided eye contact. She turned the music back on and continued to make her way around the room, making pancakes and scrambled eggs.

Rick played with Judith and talked with Carl about his training as Michonne leaned against the counter, watching the family's interaction with a cup of coffee in her hands. She could not tear her eyes away if she wanted to because they were hers. Even though Rick in all of his alpha glory often got on her nerves, the people in front of her were hers and she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

After fixing plates for everyone including herself, they sat at the table and ate in a comfortable silence until the youngest Grimes interrupted the silence. She had been trying to get Michonne's attention but she was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't been paying attention.

Judith groaned before she whined out. "Mamamama," Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and faced the young girl, whose face grew red from the attention. But she quickly focused on her task and handed the soggy pancake to Michonne.

She quickly recovered from the initial shock and took the piece of food from the young girl, thanking her. Carl decided to spark up conversation about his new comic. Everyone engaged but it was clear the adults in the room were there physically but not mentally. So the young boy quickly finished his breakfast, grabbed his sister, and headed over to Maggie and Glenn's house.

"I'll wash the dishes." Rick spoke up suddenly.

Michonne nodded not really paying him any attention as she tried her best not to cry but hearing that simple word had brought forth so many emotions. She made her way upstairs and decided to stay in her bed, staring at the wall.

When a knock sounded through the room, she knew it was Rick and she honestly didn't feel like talking to him but after the things she said last night, she knew she couldn't ignore him. He was going to want to finish up the discussion.

"Come in."

"You alright?"

"Mhm," She hummed finally looking at him. He stood there dressed in his favorite jeans and a brown t-shirt. "Do you have toothpaste?" Her eyes finally landed on his face.

Rick nodded before he made his way over to the bed. "Can I sit?"

She moved over, signalling that it was okay. Neither made an attempt to speak as they sat there in silence. Michonne reached for Rick's hand with tears blurring her vision. "I never thought I would be called 'mama' ever again." The confession made his heart swell as he stared at the woman in front of him. "It was such a bittersweet moment. Judy only knows four words and apparently that's one. Who knew?"

"I did." He responded, watching as her eyes finally met with his. "She said it last night as she looked for you to put her to bed."

"Way to lay it on thick, Rick."

A small chuckle left his lips as he shook his head. "I'm serious." Michonne didn't say anything else so they once again fell into a comfortable silence. "You know I couldn't replace you if I tried, right?"

She stared at him and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The answer she wanted to say was an answer he didn't want to hear, so she just shrugged. "Rick, when we got here, you were someone I didn't know. You kept saying we couldn't trust these people and they were weak yet, you wanted to save the damsel in distress. It didn't make sense."

"He was beating-"

"I know." She cut him off and removed her hand from his. Both of them missed the warmth immediately but she settled for pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. The position seemed weak in her mind but it was comforting. "But your reasons were selfish. They weren't authentic and I get it. We all have an itch that needs to be scratched but there were other single white women here. I wish one of them would have come and given you a haircut. Would have saved us a lot of unnecessary drama."

Rick looked stunned. "Single white women?" He repeated her words with a chuckle. "Michonne really?"

She couldn't help but laugh at herself as well. That was definitely a thought she should have kept to herself. She wasn't insecure and she wasn't about to start today. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Rick replied. "Speak your mind all of the time. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be here. You wanted this place. You fought hard for this place. You help me run this place." She didn't say anything as he stared at her. "I am the fool for making you feel like anyone could take your spot. That isn't possible. We've been through hell and back with each other. You've saved my life more than once. I trust you with my life, with my children's lives." He tilted his head and reached for her hand. "Don't tell Carl but you're my best friend too."

_Back in the friendzone, great, _she thought.

"Yeah, you too."

"Is Spencer taking my place? I'm a little concerned." He joked, trying to lighten the mood because he saw the way her face dropped when he referred to her as his friend.

Michonne didn't respond as she got off of the bed and made her way to the door. "Everyone has an itch that needs to be scratched." On that note she left Rick sitting there even more stunned as she made her way to his bathroom to retrieve the toothpaste.


	2. Chapter 2: Dance for You

_A/N: I honestly didn't expect the response I got. Thank you for every review, favorite, and/or follow. It just bothers me that the show never touched on any of this. It's like the episodes with Jessie and her family were forgotten by 6x10 and I didn't understand how they glossed over that. We never got to know Michonne's true feelings about the situation. Not to mention that subplot made no sense to me but whatever. They never even touched on Carl's new found disability. But I'm not going to rant too much._

_This story might not be that long but we'll see where my mind takes me. Hope you're enjoying it so far._

* * *

Maggie stopped speaking and stepped to the side, following Rick's line of vision. It was clear he wasn't paying attention, so she wanted to know what had him so intrigued. When her eyes landed on Michonne, she shook her head. Everyone had noticed the shift in their friendship since they arrived in Alexandria and Maggie honestly could not blame Michonne for distancing herself from Rick. He had completely spiraled once they arrived in the community, worse than she had ever seen him before. And she knew the reason hurt the samurai.

She had lost a bet to Glenn when they first arrived because she was sure that Rick would finally get his shit together and make it known that he was in love with Michonne. Instead, the complete opposite happened and she still couldn't fathom it.

"How is that goin'?" She asked, capturing Rick's attention.

"What?" He asked in his southern drawl that matched her own.

"Things with Michonne?"

Rick furrowed his brows finally pulling his eyes away from Michonne and Spencer. Ever since the young man came to their house last week, Rick had been watching their interactions. "Fine."

Maggie nodded, trying to choose her next words carefully. "Her and Spencer are getting pretty close. That's a good thing, right?"

Rick's eyes narrowed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about Michonne and her new _friend._ "Sure."

This time Maggie couldn't hold back her laugh as she watched the uncomfortable look on Rick's face. He had never been good at masking his true emotions and today wasn't an exception. "Doesn't sound like you think it's a good thing."

Rick broke their eye contact and looked off into the distance, placing his hand on his hip as he looked at Maggie once again, trying to pinpoint exactly what she was getting at. "Why wouldn't it be? This is our home. We're rebuilding it. It's a good thang that they're friends." It physically pained him to even say the word out loud but he was doing his best to seem unbothered. "We're all friends."

"Sure we are, Rick."

He didn't reply as his eyes landed back on the newly found friends. The biggest smiles plastered on both of their faces. Michonne hadn't sported the look since Carl woke up from his coma and Spencer hadn't since he lost his family. So maybe their connection wasn't bad but for some reason it bothered him. It pissed him off if he was going to be honest with himself.

He used to be one of three people that put that look on her face. Nowadays the two co-leaders barely saw each other and unlike before, she wasn't avoiding him. They were both busy, being pulled in different directions.

Rick tilted his head and broke his stare away from the pair before more people noticed. "You don't sound like you believe me."

"I don't." Maggie stated not wavering on her stance. "The tension that is bubbling between the two of you affects all of us. It affects our entire crew. Michonne is prideful but most of all, she is considerate. She is going to do whatever needs to be done so everyone isn't uncomfortable even if she is. And she shouldn't be uncomfortable around her family, Rick. You need to fix whatever you broke."

A loud sigh left his lips as he stared off, soaking up Maggie's words. He may not have wanted to hear them or even wanted to admit that she was right but this was on him. She had confided in him last week and the conversation played on a loop in his mind, especially once he was alone with his thoughts.

"What's going on?" Glenn approached, wrapping his arm around his wife, kissing her lips.

"Just telling Rick that he needs to fix whatever is going on with him and Michonne."

The man in question shook his head before he tried to focus back on the garden they were trying their best to work on.

"He's still bein' a dumbass?" Rick's eyes widened. Glenn hadn't called him that since the very beginning. "It's still true two years later."

Opting out of responding, Rick grabbed a shovel and continued to dig.

* * *

Sasha smiled at her friend as Michonne watched Spencer head down the block. "That stare used to be reserved for another dark haired, blue eyed man."

Michonne snapped her eyes over to the brown-skinned woman, feeling her cheeks heat up. "Don't start."

"I'm just stating the obvious. Everyone can feel the rift between you and Rick." Sasha shrugged as she focused back on her task. Her eyes searched the grounds through her scope before they landed back on the woman beside her. "Are you okay? How are you since everything?"

"Sasha, I should be asking you how you're doing. You lost people. Two very important people. The bullshit that is going on with me and Rick is not even comparable." Michonne hated to bring up Bob and Tyreese but facts were facts. The situation with Rick seemed so minor now that she thought about it. If he didn't want her that was fine. It wouldn't be the first time she felt rejected by him but it would be the last.

"We've all lost people, Michonne." Sasha let out a low sigh. "You've probably lost just as much as I have. The way you were when we met you, I know that hurt. I can recognize that hurt. I couldn't back then but I know it now."

Silence soon surrounded the two women as they worked their respectable shifts. Michonne closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. Sasha was trying to be her friend, her girl friend. It had been so long since she conversed casually with another woman about her love life that it felt foreign, almost wrong.

"Rick doesn't love me the way I love him." The confession left her lips before she could stop herself. The admission felt freeing and she let out another breath. "And I went off on him about Jessie last week."

A low gasp left the other woman's lips as she took in the information, loving the gossip. "Whaaaat?" This was the most animated Michonne had seen Sasha and she honestly loved it. "What happened?"

"I asked what would have happened if she hadn't died and their relationship had progressed and you want to know what he told me. He told me nothing would have changed and I would have still been there."

"He's crazier that I thought."

"Girl, the man is out of his damn mind. I was not about to stay in that house while he shacked up with another woman."

"You know," A small smile played on Sasha's lips. "When we were at the prison, I thought the two of you fooled around. He was always so down when you were gone but once you came back, he glowed." Michonne shook her head, trying to downplay the attraction that was there between her and Rick since the beginning. "Then after Terminus, there was this bond. Besides Glenn, you were the only one with enough balls to disagree with Rick and actually get him to listen. He didn't jump until you told him how high."

"Stop it." She couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face as her friend teased her. "That's not true."

"You're the reason we're here. Glenn was on Rick's side. Did you forget? You vouched for this place and he took your word. He followed you here because you wanted something for us, for his children. That man is in love with you too. The world may have changed but men are still dumb and clueless."

Michonne smiled and shook her head. "Speaking of men. What's going on with Abraham? Is that a thing?"

"I don't know what it is but I'm trying to distance myself before it does become something. I've lost too much and I can't take another loss. Not right now."

"Don't try to talk me into some shit you're not prepared to do yourself." Michonne stared at her friend through her long eyelashes. "You can't stop living. This life we're living is different. Everything is urgent. Be happy. You deserve it."

"So do you. So if Rick isn't stepping up, then allow Spencer the opportunity."

There wasn't much for her to say in response because even if she wasn't giving Spencer the opportunity, he was creating one for himself anyways and she loved the effort he was putting in. She liked being wanted and Spencer was starting to awake things within herself that had been locked up for the past two years.

"Besides Abe is with Rosita. I'm not a side piece."

"You're not." Michonne conceded before her eyes landed on a tanned body with muscles bursting out of a vest. "What about Daryl?"

Sasha almost choked on her spit. "How is it that we now have access to showers and he still looks like we're trapped in the barn?"

Michonne laughed so loud and hard that her entire body shook, drawing the attention of a few folks walking around, including Rick. "I cannot believe you."

"If you get him to clean up, I'll give him an opportunity." She winked as she watched their leader stroll over in all of his bowlegged glory. "I'm gonna take my break. Want something?"

"Chocolate." Michonne flashed a wide smile, causing both women to shake their heads at her sweet tooth. "I'm gonna get my friend all cleaned up and you better not fold on this agreement."

"Whatever girl." Sasha spoke over her shoulder because she knew that was an impossible feat. Daryl lived in the wilderness even when he didn't have to. "Good luck."

With that she nodded at Rick as he made his way past, returning her nod and taking her place on the guard tower. His eyes were locked on Michonne as she stared off into the distance before finally facing him. "Hey,"

"Hey," he returned not breaking their eye contact. "I didn't see you at breakfast this morning."

She looked away and sighed. "I fed Judy, dropped her off with Carol and came to keep Spencer company during his shift." Rick visibly flinched at the mention of the Monroe boy's name but tried his best to play it cool. "Didn't see you at dinner last night."

"The run ran later than we anticipated. Didn't get in until midnight and I didn't want to wake you."

A low hum left her lips as she looked around the community. "Somehow we keep missing each other."

"Carl told me that tomorrow is your birthday."

Michonne was caught off guard but played it cool as she nodded, trying her best to seem unaffected. "If my secrets aren't safe with my best friend, who are they safe with?"

"He just wants to celebrate you." Rick tilted his head to catch her gaze. "We want to celebrate you." He was glad the Alexandrians kept up with the calendar dates. All he kept track of these days was the change of the seasons. "Let us do that."

"And how do you plan on doin' that, Grimes?" She teased.

"They like parties. So we might as well celebrate for a real reason."

"Rick, we already have to ration. I don't want a party. I just want to spend time with my family." He didn't say anything so she continued. "Maybe we can have a game night. We never relax and let loose. The people in this community have proven themselves. We should give them the chance they deserve while _we_ take the night off." She could tell he was ready to protest. "Do this for me." She pleaded, flashing a wide smile.

"Alright." He rubbed the back of his neck. "For you, I'll do anything."

If her skin was a shade lighter, he would have been able to see the flush of color on her cheeks. "One last thing. Have Daryl take a really good shower and wash that damn vest."

The laughter that erupted from Rick's throat surprised Michonne. She had heard him laugh before but this was different. It was the most she had heard him enjoy himself in months. "I'm on it."

"Thanks."

They watched as Sasha came back into view. Rick let out a low breath because he didn't want to leave Michonne but their alone time was over. "See you at dinner?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

He reached over and squeezed her hand before he made his way down the ladder, allowing Sasha the space to return to her duty but not before looking back at Michonne one more time.

"Spencer doesn't stand a chance." Sasha mumbled as she watched her friend staring at Rick's back during his departure like he was the finest man in the world. The one man she was madly in love with. "Damn shame."

"What?" Michonne asked, clueless.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about."

* * *

Two empty bottles of alcohol were on the table as the crew sat around Michonne and Rick's living room. She had spent the entire day with the Grimes family because she knew Carl and Judy would be missing from the night festivities. Of course the teenager was upset that he couldn't attend but once he realized that he and Enid would be alone in his room for a few hours, he quickly got over that emotion.

"Who's next?" Rosita asked, looking around the room.

"Sasha." Michonne spoke up, taking another sip of her mixed drink. There was more alcohol involved than a chaser and she was perfectly fine with that because she realized an hour ago that her friends were trying to get her drunk. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Sasha challenged, already knowing where her friend's mind was going but Michonne tried to play it off as she looked around the room, tapping her finger against the cup. Her eyes connected with Rick's. Out of instinct, she licked her lips seeing his eyes flicker down to her mouth, lingering before he looked back into her brown orbs. She quickly broke away from his intense gaze and found Daryl.

"I dare you to kiss Daryl." A wide smile appeared on her face. "Do it like you mean it."

A smirk appeared on the brown lady's face as she downed the contents of her cup and stood from her seat. Sasha had to admit that he cleaned up fairly well than he was 24 hours ago and she honestly didn't mind it.

"Hey, wait." The hunter tried to protest but the crowd departed, creating the path for Sasha to walk directly to him. For some reason, she could feel Abraham staring a hole into the side of her face but she didn't allow him the satisfaction of acknowledgement. He was here with his girlfriend and that was just the way shit worked out. So Sasha placed her hands on the sides of Daryl's clean face and kissed him.

It started off slow as they got a feel for each other and grew hungrier by the second. When his tongue swiped her bottom lip, she was surprised but opened her mouth, allowing the access.

His hands were no longer on his side but were traveling down her torso before they landed on her lower back and all she wanted was for him to move a little lower but before she could get completely lost and moan out loud in front of this group, she broke away.

"Well damn." Tara spoke from beside Eugene. "I have never been more turned on."

"Your turn, Michonne." Sasha slowly backed away from Daryl and his red face. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." It wouldn't be the warrior's style if she didn't take a risk.

A mischievous grin appeared Sasha's face as she searched the crowd of familiar faces, locking on the new one among the core group. "I dare you to give Spencer a lap dance."

The air in the room became still as almost everyone slyly looked at Rick, waiting on his reaction. But he played it cool and watched the woman in question, waiting on her next move.

Michonne took a big sip from her cup and slowly stood from her seat, feeling all of the alcohol hitting her at once. She faced Spencer, purposely avoiding Rick's eyes. "Pull up a chair." She turned to Maggie, who was closest to the CD player. "Put in the Beyoncé CD and go to track 6."

When they found CDs on their last run, this was the first one she grabbed because one of her favorite artists had to be with her during the end of the world.

Once Spencer was situated, she strutted over to him and pushed his back against the chair and began to gyrate her hips. Spencer's eyes roamed all over her body as his dilated pupils proceed to drink her in and all that did was turn on the birthday girl.

_I just wanna_

_Show you how much I appreciate you_

_Wanna show you how much I'm dedicated to you_

_Wanna show you how much I will forever be true_

_Wanna show you how much you got your girl feelin' good_

All she wanted was to feel wanted and as Beyoncé sung about bodies colliding, Michonne finally turned around and placed her round ass in his lap. She continued to move, seeing the entire room was focused on her precise movements.

Her eyes landed on Rick and stayed on him for a while before she turned abruptly and straddled Spencer's thighs. His hands went to her ass immediately, causing a small moan to leave her mouth that only he heard as she continued to move her hips.

By the time the song ended, Michonne was horny but slowly slid off of Spencer's lap ignoring the budge that swiped her thigh as she stood tall to her feet. She could feel Rick's eyes on her. They were burning into her skin and she didn't avoid his gaze as she grabbed her drink and reclaimed her seat. "Rick, your turn."

He looked like he was ready to kill. She knew that look like the back of her hand and it took her off guard but she was entirely too intoxicated to really care.

"I'm gonna go check on the kids." He replied not breaking their stare.

"Come on." she whined. "Humor me. Please."

"Dare." He damn near growled.

Michonne tilted her head as they continued to stare intensely at each other.

"Kiss already." Abraham yelled from the other side of the room, earning a slap to his arm from Rosita.

The right side of Rick's mouth twitch slightly as he swiftly moved to the other side of the room and captured Michonne's lips, catching everyone in the room by surprise.


	3. Chapter 3: Playing Games

Michonne's breath hitched in her throat as Rick's lips collided with hers. The sensation was becoming overwhelming as she tried to calm her nerves. His body tensed up as she sat still with wide eyes not returning the action. Without another thought she reacted, opening her legs wider, allowing him space to stand between her thighs as she kissed him back. One of his hands was stationed on the back of the couch beside her head holding himself steady while the other was placed on her hip, pulling her closer.

Her hands flew up to his neck as her fingers ran lazily through his curly hair. A low groan left Rick's throat, allowing Michonne inside of his mouth. Her heart was beating rapidly as her tongue explored their leader, the taste of Corona and mint feeling her senses.

The kiss was slow and passionate as his tongue met hers while his grip on her hip tightened, causing a low moan to fill her ears. All she could focus on were his soft lips, how well he kissed, and how good his beard felt against her soft skin.

_I wonder how it'll feel between my thighs_. Her eyes flew open as she slowly broke away, breathless.

Rick's light blue eyes were dark and filled with lust as his eyes roamed her body as he slowly stood up. He cleared his throat and turned back to the group. "Glenn, truth or dare?"

Michonne was stunned as she sat there with her lips partially parted as Rick discreetly adjusted himself in his jeans and strutted to the stairs.

"I'm gonna go check on the kids."

Sasha's eyes traveled from the birthday girl to Daryl to Maggie and back again. Was he really about to downplay that kiss as another dare? There was no way he was this damn dumb. Sasha refused to believe it. She purposely chose Michonne's dare so Rick would man up and admit his feelings but it looked like the complete opposite was happening. If he didn't make a move tonight, she knew her friend would move on without a second thought. Being rejected over and over was no easy feat, especially not at the end of the world.

"Truth." Glenn looked around the group with a puzzled expression that matched the rest of theirs.

Rosita quickly spoke up, trying to change the energy of the room. "Is it truth that you…"

Her voice quickly trailed into the background as Michonne tried to reign in her emotions but they were literally all over the place. She reached for her cup and downed the rest of her drink and stood from her spot on the couch, drawing attention to herself. She pasted a smile on her face as she held up her cup. "I need a refill."

"I'll come with." Sasha spoke up, following behind her friend, quickly picking up on the somber mood. "You okay?"

Michonne threw the cup on the floor and gripped the counter to steady herself. "I have to move out."

That declaration was not one she thought she would hear. "What? Are you sure?"

"He just kissed me and played it off as though it meant nothing. It was just another dare to him. It was more to me than that and every single person in that room knows that." Michonne felt the tears but she refused to let them fall. Not on her birthday. Rick Grimes was not about to cause her anymore pain. This was the end. "I can't live here with him anymore. The mixed signals are becoming too much. At this point, it might be pity or loneliness. If Jessie was here, he wouldn't have even done that." The last part was something she wanted to keep to herself but it spilled out and she didn't regret it.

Sasha ran to her friend as Michonne broke out into a silent sob. "Don't say that. Don't let that get to you. Rick is an idiot."

Michonne didn't disagree but her feelings were valid. "Is it okay if I stay with you for a few days until I find a new place?"

"Of course."

The women quickly broke apart as they heard someone nearing their location, the cowboy boots beating against the hardwood. Sasha stood with her back blocking the other woman as she gathered herself, only to be met with the eyes of the man of the house himself.

Rick's gaze moved from Sasha to the birthday girl, who still had her back turned to him. "Everythang alright?"

"Yeah," Sasha spoke, trying her best not to scowl at her leader but he was on her last nerve. After all of the sacrifices Michonne made for him, for everyone and he constantly played with her feelings. "They will be." She turned her back and focused on her friend, making sure she was okay. Michonne assured she was, so Sasha reluctantly left the two of them alone.

"Hey," Rick's voice was low as he walked up to her, waiting on her to turn around. "You alright?"

"I will be." she repeated the same cryptic message and he was now annoyed.

"What does that even mean? Why aren't you okay now?"

She turned around giving him a full view of her puffy and red eyes. "I'm moving out." Rick opened his mouth to speak but she kept going. "I can't live here with you anymore. I'll still come over and spend time with the kids, and put Judy to bed but I will not continue this same song and dance with you, Rick."

"Is this because of the Monroe boy?" His concern had quickly turned to anger. He had tried to do right by Michonne and push the feelings of lust and jealousy to the back of his mind. The last thing he wanted or needed at the moment was their friendship falling apart at the seams. But envy filled him completely because he felt like the best thing to ever happen to him was being pulled away.

"His name is Spencer." She corrected. "And unlike you, I don't act impulsively. I know how to control my feelings and act rationally. It has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you."

"Where is this coming from?" He tilted his head and placed his hand on his hip in his signature stance. She was avoiding his gaze and he couldn't get a good read on her face. All he wanted to know was why she was doing this to him.

Michonne inhaled deeply, taking in his scent of pine, soap, and his natural odor. "Stop acting clueless. It's pissing me off."

"Would you just talk to me?" He placed his hands on her shoulders, causing her to shrug away the contact. "Michonne."

"Stop saying my name." She snapped, walking away from him. "I'll pack my things tomorrow."

Rick walked up behind her and gently grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Please just talk to me. Why do you want to leave us, leave me?" He didn't even recognize his own voice. All of his confidence was gone.

The irony of his words were a slap to the face. "I've been with you since we arrived here but I can't say the same for you. You haven't been with me, Rick."

Rick was caught completely off guard and didn't know how to respond. His silence was making Michonne grow angrier. She expressed herself to him in simple terms and he still couldn't get it together. She was mentally and emotionally tired of all of the things he had put her through. But could she really blame him? Did she have that right? If he didn't want to be with her, she didn't have the right to be mad. But she had the right to feel used and manipulated.

"You just don't get it and I don't know how else to say it to you."

"Just say it." He snapped. "You're not happy here? We don't make you happy?!" He was yelling and had to catch himself. "You think someone that has been weak living behind these walls can make you happy instead? He can't protect you."

There was the manipulation she was used to. "I don't need protection!" She was sure the party goers could hear them but she didn't care. "I can save my damn self or have you forgotten? I've never needed a hero but that's what you like, right? Weak women. I don't need you to save me!"

Carl ran down the stairs but was stopped by Daryl as his parents stood in the kitchen arguing. He had never heard Michonne go off like this and he knew that it was bad. This fight seemed final and that was the young teen's biggest fear. "I have to stop them."

"They need to get this out." Maggie said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Rick let out a humorless laugh as he stared through slanted eyes at Michonne. "We all know you don't need me, Michonne. Do you feel better now?" He scoffed and took a step back. "Now that you've gotten that off of your chest?" But the thing was, she did need him. She needed him to love her completely and she was more vulnerable in this moment than she had ever been. Never in her 35 years had she have to practically beg a man to love her. This was new territory and she felt like she was drowning.

Tears were falling from her eyes now. "You know what, Rick. Fuck you. I'm done."

The silence was deafening in the house as everyone literally held their breaths waiting on Rick's response but he didn't have one. It was clear Michonne didn't want to hear anything he had to say and it seemed like whatever he said, escalated the situation. So he had nothing else to say. He needed to collect his thoughts because he definitely didn't want her to leave.

"Done with what?" Carl walked into the kitchen with Maggie, who had an apologetic look on her face. "What's going on?" The young man's eye moved from his dad to Michonne, hoping someone would answer his question sooner than later. He could feel the tension radiating off of both of them and all it did was make him nervous.

"I think it's time to call it a night." Sasha spoke up, coming to her friend's rescue from the living room. "Let's give them some privacy."

Carl was still watching the two people he loved most in this world besides his sister as they both avoided his gaze awkwardly and all it did was frustrate him.

"Hey Mich, I'm gonna head out. Just stop by if you need to." Sasha quickly pulled her friend into a quick hug. "And happy birthday."

Once the house cleared out, Carl impatiently tapped his foot against the floor waiting on one of the adults in this household to speak but Michonne was holding up the wall with her arms across her chest while Rick was in the same stance against the counter. "Can someone please tell me what is going on? I'm not a child. Just tell me."

"I'm moving out."

"What?" Carl's voice was on the verge of hysterical as he stared at his best friend, the woman that had stepped up into a motherly role even when he knew it was hard for her.

"No she's not." Rick wasn't having it. He didn't care what Michonne had to say about it.

Choosing to ignore him, she focused on Carl as he stared at her like she had lost her mind. "Why? What did I do wrong? I can clean more. I'll do whatever needs to be done." Tears were running down his face and if Michonne didn't feel bad before, she definitely felt horrible now. "Please don't leave."

She didn't know what to say. For so long she had put everyone else's needs above her own and all she wanted was space from Rick. She had no intentions to hurt Carl. The last thing she expected was for the teen to react this way but it made sense. He was still a child.

After the prison, she declared she was done taking breaks and she had to stick by that.

"Carl, this decision has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. This isn't like before. This isn't like the prison. You'll be able to see me whenever you want." She let out a shaky breath to stop herself from crying. "I just need space right now. I will still be here every single day to eat dinner and put your sister to bed. We'll still be able to train before school. I'm not leaving you."

"So you just want to be away from Dad." This young man was entirely too perceptive. "What did you do?" He threw the accusation at Rick without thinking twice. "Are you gonna push her away too?"

"Carl," Rick let out a low breath and walked to the table and pulled out a chair. "Sit."

The young man walked over to Michonne and grabbed her hand, pulling her along. "What is going on with you two? I have noticed the change."

Rick didn't know what to say. He had felt the shift in their relationship as well. The sexual tension that had been there since the beginning was now becoming overbearing but the last thing he wanted to do was act on it. He didn't want to ruin what they had because it seemed like everything he touched, loved, and was interested in died. This world had taken too much away from him. He didn't know what he would do if Michonne was taken away from him, from Carl, from Judith.

But the way his mind and body reacted to that kiss was a sensation he had never experienced. Lori hadn't even brought out the type of hunger he felt when he tasted Michonne's lips and maybe that was why he felt so guilty. He wanted this woman but felt like he didn't deserve her. He wasn't good enough. Too many mistakes had already been made on his behalf.

"Don't leave." Carl focused on best friend. "Dad is sorry. He just doesn't know what he's doing sometimes. You saw the way he behaved when we first arrived. Give us another chance." The young boy sighed as Michonne leaned over and wiped his tears away. "Unfortunately, we're a packaged deal." He teased, trying to bring a smile to their faces.

"And I would not trade any of you in but Carl, I do need a little space."

The teen nodded because he wanted to give her what she wanted even if it hurt him. "I understand."

"I'm going to stay with Sasha for a while. Just for a little while." She clarified, seeing the pain displayed on their faces. She may have been pissed at Rick but she still didn't like to see him upset. "I'll be back. I don't know when but just give me a little space." The last sentence was aimed at Rick, who nodded and looked away defeated.

"Whatever you need." He heard himself speak up. "Just don't leave us." Flashbacks of her being gone for extended periods while they lived in the prison began to plague his mind and that was the last thing Rick wanted. He didn't want her to close herself off again. If her friendship with Carl stayed the same, Rick felt as though he could be content with theirs diminishing but somehow he knew that was a lie. No matter what he told himself.

"I'm going to go to bed." A faint hint of a smile appeared on her lips. "Want to have a sleepover for my last night?" She asked Carl. "I'll grab Judy." Without waiting for a response, she stood to her feet and made her way out of the room.

"Fix it, Dad." Carl said before following behind Michonne.

Rick sat there lost in his own thoughts. She couldn't actually leave because he had a feeling that soon that space she wanted would become a permanent fixation and he couldn't live here without her being by his side, in his home. He had to push all of the common sense he had suddenly found and act on impulse. That was his best quality. It had saved their lives on more occasions than he could count. So he prayed to whoever was in the sky that he would be able to keep his family together by what he was about to do. It would either pull them together or farther apart. But this was a risk he was ready to take.

* * *

_A/N: I had every intention of her following him once he said he was going to check on the kids but my fingers have a mind of their own lol. Rick has to work for it. He has constantly played with my girl's feelings and I am fed up. He would really do something clueless like this on the show. So I channeled that.  
_


	4. Chapter 4: Find Your Way Back

The house was quiet and Rick still wasn't used to the silent atmosphere. The kids were at Sasha's for dinner. He had been invited but was contemplating if he should actually show up. Michonne had extended the invitation at the very last second due to Carl's input. So he knew she still wanted space. But it had been two weeks and he was tired of this. He wanted his friend back. He wanted his companion and confidant to come home.

The night of her birthday played over and over in his head. He was trying his best to dissect what he had done incorrectly. The kiss meant more to him than he let be known and that was clearly a mistake because Michonne was pulling away with all of her might. It seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him outside of their work duties. Even when it was pertaining to the kids, she kept it brief.

Out of habit, he twirled his wedding ring around his finger before he realized what he was doing. It had become something he did whenever something weighed heavily on his mind. Most times, he didn't even notice he was doing it. It was a nervous tick he had developed over the years.

Letting out a deep breath, he slid the object off of his digit and pulled his well worn boots onto his feet. He was going to speak with Michonne tonight about everything. His state of mind, his desires, his fears, and whatever else she wanted to know. He needed her to know and understand him. At one point in time she was the only one that did but now she looked at him as though he was someone she didn't recognize instead of the man that she had grown to love over the last year. And that pained him because he finally realized that it wasn't just lust that he felt for the samurai. It was love.

"Hey," Sasha couldn't hide her surprise as she opened the door, wide enough for their leader to enter.

"Sorry if I'm late." Rick flashed a coy smile.

Sasha had to stop herself from laughing. She had never seen Rick look as nervous as he did at this moment and she had seen him facing death plenty of times. He was always exuding confidence but the man that stood in front of her looked like he was coming to pick up her daughter for their first date.

"We just sat down at the table. Carl hoped you would finally put on your big boy panties." She teased, leading the way to the kitchen where Daryl, Carl, Judith, Michonne, and Spencer were seated. The laughter and conversation came to a halt as all eyes landed on Rick. His daughter squealed in delight as her eyes landed on the newcomer. Staring down at her brown eyes brought a big smile to his face as he kissed her forehead and sat in the empty seat on the other side of her.

He felt her eyes on him as Spencer spoke. Rick looked up from his plate and met her gaze, his posture relaxing immediately as he slowly looked away and fed his daughter.

Dinner flowed pretty quickly. Rick didn't spend the entire time focusing on Michonne and her friend. He participated in the conversations, even made a joke or two as they made their way through the deer he was sure Daryl had caught. He knew Michonne's cooking, so there was no doubt in his mind that she made the side of homemade mashed potatoes and cornbread.

Rick lifted his glass to his lips and swallowed the wine as he watched the interactions at the table. Sasha's hard exterior softened a little as she spoke with the hunter of the group, the man he deemed as his brother. It was obvious things had shifted in a great direction after their kiss. It was a shame he couldn't say the same for him and Michonne.

"I have to relieve Rosita and Glenn from watch duty." Spencer stood from his seat with a sad smile on his features. "I'll see you later?" Hope was clear in his tone as he faced Michonne. She nodded, displaying a smile of her own.

"Ready?" Rick asked his son. Carl looked between his best friend and his dad with a puzzled look on his face. He had noticed the shift in their relationship as well as the one between Michonne and Spencer. He didn't know what was going on because as far as he knew, she only had eyes for his dad. Now it looked like the possibility of them being together wasn't on the table anymore. He felt it slipping away and it made him panic.

If another man came into her life, would she continue to put distance between herself and Rick? Would that eventually affect their friendship as well? That was his dad and as he stated weeks ago, they were a packaged deal.

Carl had lost just as much as his dad and Michonne. They both knew that but it felt like they didn't care and were about to take this away from him too. He knew his dad and knew jealousy made his father do crazy things. Hell, he had shot a man at point blank range after fighting him through his own living room window.

"Yeah," tonight was the night they had a talk because the younger Grimes needed understanding. He stood from his chair and grabbed a napkin to clean up his sister before grabbing her from the high chair. His eyes landed on his father as they both waited on Spencer to depart.

Michonne's attention was quickly on the Grimes family as Rick stood and grabbed Judith from his son. He made his way around the table, purposely ignoring her as he spoke to the remaining guests. She politely dismissed Spencer to see her best friend waiting on her. "Hey, you ready?"

Carl nodded, trying his best to keep his excitement inside. Michonne said she would have dinner with them every night followed by tucking in his sister and so far, she had kept her word.

The young man said goodnight to Sasha and Daryl before he followed his dad out the door, making sure Michonne was by his side. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." Her expression was stoic as she watched Rick play with Judith as we walked in front of them. The man he was while holding his baby was a man that the outside world didn't got to see but she had to admit, Papa Rick was her favorite. Her eyes finally landed on Carl when he didn't respond, seeing he was already looking at her with curiosity in his blue eye. She knew she had been caught watching Rick. It wasn't the first time but hopefully it would be one of the last. "What's your question?"

"Do you not like my dad anymore? Did you move out to replace us with Spencer?"

Michonne almost tripped over her feet. That was not what she expected to come out of the young man's mouth. "First, that was two questions." She stopped walking and faced him, clearing her throat. "I will never replace any of you because the real thing is better than any substitution. Understood?" Carl nodded but he still felt deep down inside that if she continued to live away from them and grew closer to the last Monroe standing that she would be content without them in her life.

The first step would be moving out, then she would stop coming for dinner. She had already missed one during the last fourteen days. Carl knew more would be in the horizon and he wasn't going to stand by and let that happen because he knew eventually she would stop tucking Judy in and stop training him. Then what? She would just become another neighbor in the community?

"I'm not good at expressing myself." He finally spoke. "Neither is my dad but I promise you I speak for the both of us by saying that the house doesn't feel the same without your presence. You helped make it a home, Michonne and we miss you. I'm not pressuring you to come back. I just wanted to let you know that. We're family and without you, there is a void."

The pang to her heart intensified as she got her emotions in check. "Carl, you are my family. You, Judith, and Rick. No one can ever replace any of you. Ever." Michonne reached for his hand and started walking back to the house once again. "I'll move back in tomorrow."

The young man tried not to seem overly excited but he was. This was the best news he heard in weeks. "Do you want to move back in?"

"I do." She answered, honestly. "I was going to speak with your father tonight but I'm glad I spoke with you first."

* * *

Once Judith was finally done fighting her sleep, Michonne laid the baby in the crib and watched her for a few minutes. She knew the young girl didn't want to let her go because Judith knew Michonne wouldn't be there once she woke up. But that was changing. Michonne's heart and family were in this house. This was where she belonged.

Without turning around, she could sense Rick's presence and feel his gaze on her. He hadn't spoken much to her at dinner tonight and she wondered if it was because Spencer was there. He was a late addition because she was well aware that he had been eating alone and she couldn't have that. Her heart was too big to be okay with that.

His scent hit her nose as he came closer to stand next to her. He leaned down to kiss his sleeping daughter before speaking and meeting her eyes. "Can we talk?"

"I would like that." Michonne answered, staring at the baby one final time before walking out of the room with Rick following behind. She stopped by Carl's room, surprised to see that the teen was knocked out with his lamp on and an open comic next to him. A small smile graced her face as she walked inside and gently placed the book on his dresser, careful not to lose his spot.

Rick stood in the doorway and watched as she tucked Carl in and cut off the lamp before kissing his forehead. "Thank you." He spoke as she quietly shut the door.

"For what?"

The way her eyes narrowed when she was confused was so cute to him. "For everythang."

Michonne's heart started beating wildly as she led the way down the stairs. The last thing she expected was the pleasantry from Rick Grimes but it was appreciated.

"I don't tell you enough but we preciate you."

"I preciate you too." A smile played on her lips as she mimicked his accent. "But thank you for saying that."

Rick nodded as he sat on the couch, waiting for her to sit next to him. "You okay?" He was horrible at small talk and just wanted to come right out and speak his mind but this was a topic that needed to be eased into.

"I will be." She replied, knowing that the simple phrase seemed to get under Rick's skin for some reason. He cut his eyes at her, making her giggle. "You will be okay too, Rick." She replied, angling her body on the couch to face him.

"How do you know that?"

"Because if I'm okay, you will be." This simple conversation reminded both of them about the train tracks. That time seemed so long ago. He had just committed the most gruesome act to save their lives. He didn't regret it though. Why would he? He was alive, so was she, Carl, and Daryl. He'd do the horrific act again if it meant that everyone made it out safely. "You know I thought things between us would be different once we found somewhere safe, somewhere to grow."

"What do you mean?" Rick asked, not wanting to assume.

"Tell me I wasn't alone in this Rick. Tell me I wasn't imagining things." Her voice was desperate as she searched his eyes, seeing the same desire that was there since he stuck his finger in her bullet wound. It was masked by anger and uncertainty back then but it was there since the beginning. "Tell me."

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you were a fool." His voice was so low, he wasn't sure she heard him. "I'm sorry for making you feel like you were in this alone because you're not."

"I thought it would make me happy to hear those words but it just hurts me even more." The confession spilled from her lips. "You made me feel alone. When we got here, you left me hanging while you, Carol, and Daryl plotted against these people. People who gave us a chance to grow and live. And I sat there in that cell waiting on you to wake up to explain to me what was going on. It wasn't until later, I figured out that you did all of that just to get your dick wet."

Her vulgar language took him off guard. He knew she was furious at him months ago but the pain was still fresh and he couldn't say he blamed her.

"Wanna run that by me again?"

Ignoring his request, she continued. "You had me around here feeling like a fool, like I read our chemistry wrong."

"You are not a fool." He really wished she would stop saying that.

"It seemed like everyone was in on the secret while I was on the outside. After everything we had gone through from the prison to Terminus and finally arriving here...I thought we had something."

"We did." We do. "You wanted this place. You wanted it." He repeated, remembering the talk they had before his potential exile. "I didn't want you to talk me out of it."

She fanned her hand, dismissively. "Yeah, I know. Because I could have, right? That's what you said."

"That is right."

Michonne pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "I tried to get past that. I chalked it up to the fact that you knew Carol and Daryl the longest, so the bond was different. But after what we had been through out there, I thought you knew you could trust me. You trusted me with your life but not with your initial thoughts about this place? You trusted me with your children's lives but didn't trust me enough to tell me about Jessie? Why is that, Rick?"

"I was wrong." He admitted, tilting his head to catch her eyes. "I fucked up and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have did anything behind your back. I know I can trust you. I probably trust you more than anyone besides Glenn." That was a fact. "I should have told you how I felt bout this place. They were weak and living in a fairytale. We had lost Noah and almost lost Tara. I was not about to lose anyone else." He paused. "The same way I didn't give this place a chance at first, they didn't give us one either."

"Did you give them an opportunity? You came in guns blazing." She calmed her voice and closed her eyes to calm down. "We had been out there a long time. Almost too long and when we came here, we didn't try to give their way a chance or compromise. It was just you're wrong and this is how it's done. Of course there was going to be push back."

Rick didn't disagree there. He couldn't because she was right. "I should have told you about Jessie. I-I didn't know what to say. She just reminded me of a simpler time and I wanted that. I wanted something normal; something similar to my old life." Truth was he was ashamed for his behavior. All Michonne wanted was a safe place for their family, for his kids and he distanced himself to pursue a woman that wasn't available. A woman that he failed. That guilt was beginning to weigh heavily on him and in turn, he began to neglect one of the most important people in his life.

Michonne hummed as she played with the hem of her tank top. "You could have just opened your mouth like you do any other time." She shook her head as she remembered Carol visiting them in the jail cell while Rick was still unconscious, giving her more insight into the situation. "You chased a married woman and killed her husband. Considering your past, I thought you would be above doing some sleazy shit like that." The disgust in her voice shocked him. Andrea had shared all of the group's secrets with her. That was one thing she missed about her friend. Her big mouth. "Then you had Carol around here acting like Suzie homemaker." She shook her head and laughed. "If we were gonna come here and play characters, I would have picked someone else instead of being another clown in your circus."

"Michonne,"

"It's okay, Rick. I think I got the answers I needed. You didn't want me the way I wanted you and that's fine. We'll push forward. We'll move forward. I won't be a fool ever again." She pulled her locs out of the ponytail, allowing them to flow down her shoulders. "I hope you find another woman that'll bring some normalcy to your life." She stood from the couch with a loud sigh. "I'll be back home tomorrow." Now that everything was in the open, she could move on and not feel bad.

Rick's mood did a complete 180 as a small smile appeared on his face. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "And Spencer will come over to visit me. He is my friend. If you have an issue with that, please speak up now."

"So he is replacing me huh?" Was Rick's response as his eyes took in Michonne's toned frame.

"At least I know he wants me. I'm not alone in that friendship." She swung her hair and headed to the door. "Goodnight Rick."

That was not how he expected that conversation to go and he wished he could rewind and redo it. But he couldn't. This was real life; his life and what was his life without Michonne. Rick quickly stood to his feet and ran after her. He caught her in the middle of the street with tears running down her smooth skin.

"You are the normalcy I want and need." He spoke, trying to catch his breath. "I don't want another woman. I want you."

Her eyes searched his face seeing the sincerity in his eyes. The beating of her heart filled her ears but she was tired of doing things his way. He had to move on her time and she wasn't ready to just jump into his arms because he felt threatened by another man in her life. He had to show her that things would be different because he wanted them to be not simply because he was jealous of her friendship with Spencer.

"What does that even mean, Rick? I want more than what we had." She needed more.

He nodded, realizing she was putting her heart on the line for him once again. "Michonne, I want you. All of you. Just give me the chance to show you." His hand rubbed the back of his neck as he nervously waited on her response.

Letting out a low breath, her eyes landed on Spencer in the watch tower. He was oblivious to the scene happening behind him. "I'll be home tomorrow." And on that note she left a very confused Rick in the middle of the street. But that wasn't enough for him. He barely caught her before she entered Sasha's.

"This world, it has almost broken me more times than I can count." Rick stared into her eyes. "And you're right, I shouldn't have done some sleazy shit like that. It was beneath me and you deserved more than that." He was always giving speeches so he was confused as to why it was so hard for him to express himself to his best friend but being vulnerable was not his strong suit. "You deserve more than me but I ain't got much to offer you, Michonne." Rick shuffled his feet. "I fell in love with you at the most inappropriate time. We were trying to survive, trying to stay alive. And once we had somewhere safe, I pushed you away and I can't tell you why." He backed away from her and sat down on the steps. It took a few seconds but he eventually heard the door close before he saw her sitting next to him. They angled themselves so they were facing each other. "My brain has tried to reason that in some way I wanted to have another chance at what I had with Lori. I wanted to right my wrongs."

Michonne listened intently. Rick barely brought up his wife, especially not with her. Over the last year, she was able to paste the story together by the gossip that was given to her. But Rick had never outright mentioned anything and she had never pushed him to. That was the type of relationship they had. If they wanted to open up they would.

"But she wasn't Lori and I was doin' the unthinkable. I had really lost my footing and there you were knockin' me out and helping me come to my senses." She could see all of the regret in his eyes as he spoke. "It took a lot longer for me to get my shit together. My son had to lose a damn eye for me to see clearly." He chuckled bitterly at the irony. "I failed Lori and I failed Jessie along with her boys."

"That's not on you, Rick." Her voice was soft as she grabbed his hand and squeezed. "That is not your fault."

It didn't matter what she said, he still felt the same way. There were red flags everywhere and he ignored the caution due to some stupid nostalgic feeling. "I don't want to lose you." He stared at her as if he was watching her slip away right before his eyes. "I don't want to lose you to this world or to another man. I want you, Michonne. I need you."

The man was known to give a good speech or two but this was different. This had her ready to give her friend a comforting hug. He needed it. Rick was known to carry burdens and God, he was carrying a mega load that she just wanted to help with.

"I need you to know that and if you decide not to pursue this, I completely understand. Maybe I waited too long." The longer she stared at him in silence with tears running down her face, the more defeated he felt. But that didn't stop him from showing her he meant business. He let go of her hand momentarily to wipe her tears with the pads of his thumbs.

Michonne looked down at his hand, noticing for the first time that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. The revelation made her stomach flip. "Rick, what happened to Jessie and her family is not your fault. She wasn't cut out for this world because if she was, she would have made Sam go with Father Gabriel. So many things could have been done differently that day and it's no one's fault. Shit happens." Her tone wasn't meant to be nonchalant but she would have taken Ron's life over and over again, if it meant saving Carl's. She would have taken it sooner, so her son would still have both of his eyes.

"I was wrong for pushing you away." He broke the short silence. "I was wrong for playing with your heart and your feelings. But you have to know that everything between us was real...it is real, Michonne. I lost my way but I'm back and I'm ready."

The first cut was definitely the deepest because all of the sweet shit Rick was saying was overdue. She needed him to say this months ago, when they first arrived to the Safe-Zone. Hell, she needed him to say it while Carl was in a coma. But all he did was push her further and further away, ultimately into another man's arms.

"I don't think I am, Rick." She admitted, breaking away from his gaze, looking back at Spencer, who had spotted them from his post. He was facing their direction. She couldn't make out if his eyes were directly on them but she had no doubt that they were. "I just need time."

"Okay." That was the least he could give her. Michonne stood from the steps along with Rick following her actions. "But I've given you that already." He walked up to her and trapped her against the door, placing his hands on opposite sides of her head. "We don't have much time in this world. We have to love the things and people we can while they're here." Maybe that didn't hold weight at this moment coming from his lips but she knew he was right. They had too many close calls. "I know you don't need me, Michonne but I still want to be there for you. I still need you."

Rick's eyes flickered down to her mouth as he slowly leaned in, waiting on her to push him away but all she did was stand there panting. He pressed his lips to hers gently, relishing in the soft feel. For the last two weeks he had thought about the way they felt and the way she tasted, wanting another moment just like this one. She moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled from the surface to her round ass.

The mounds fit perfectly in his hands as he squeezed gently before gripping it harder, rewarding him with yet another soft whimper. "I'll see you at home tomorrow." Rick stepped back slowly, trying his best not to smile at the fact that he rendered her speechless. "I'll be ready whenever you are."


	5. Chapter 5: The Need to Know

_A/N: I want to thoroughly thank all of you for the reviews of this story. But before we head into this next chapter, I wanted to send a special shout out to **learning. **I feel like you've read my damn mind. So after reading your comment, I couldn't stop my fingers. I haven't even eaten dinner yet because I was so engrossed with making this chapter come to life. To everyone that is saying Michonne is being to soft on Rick, we're getting more push back here than we did on tv. Side-eye the writers not me. I completely understand the frustration though because she is a strong warrior any other time but a damn doormat for Rick. (Which makes no sense but what does in season 6?) Since the updates have been back to back, I'll probably be back next week sometime. Enjoy. _

* * *

"I think I really like Daryl." Sasha spoke more to herself than anyone else.

Maggie sat the bowl of chips on the table as she faced her friend. Michonne didn't even try to play coy as she smirked. "Is that right?"

The brown skin woman let out a low sigh as she faced the two other women in the room. "Abe has been coming on even stronger recently and it feels very inappropriate. I feel like I'm cheating whenever I flirt back."

"This is news to me." Maggie placed her legs under her body as she gave her undivided attention. The women were gathered in her living room for a movie night. Tara and Rosita were on their way with popcorn and drinks. So they had to get this scandalous gossip in quickly. "So Glenn was right? Dammit." Maggie rolled her eyes knowing she owed her husband the last bag of Cheeto Puffs.

"Right about what?" Michonne asked.

"Well," Maggie's voice grew lower even though it was just the three of them in the entire house. "He said there has been tension with big red and the hunter. He claimed it had to do with Sasha but I told him, Daryl is just easily irritable and that Abe can be overwhelming at times but I'll be damned."

Their conversation quickly came to a halt as they heard footsteps on the front porch. The woman of the house stood and sent a playful smile to her friend before opening the door for the remaining women. Carol was among them as well as a new woman, Chelsea that recently joined the community.

"I hope it's okay that I invited her." Carol flashed a smile at Maggie before walking inside. There was no doubt that there were ulterior motives. She was probably tasked with keeping eyes on the woman and everyone knew how seriously Carol took their safety.

"Sure." Maggie faced the newcomer with a warm welcome, introducing her to everyone in the room.

It didn't take the ladies long to choose _The Bodyguard_. They didn't have many options but this was a no brainer. Sasha wished they had Waiting to Exhale but this was a good substitute.

The women went through all of the snacks as they watched Kevin Cosner and Whitney Houston on the screen but Michonne wasn't really in the mood for this sappy movie. She wanted to watch _Set it Off_ or even a comedy such as Ice Cube's classic movie _Friday_ but they didn't have many options. It was luck that they stumbled upon this option on a previous run.

Needing a break from the storyline, she rose from her seat and walked into the doorway of the kitchen to see Carol had already slipped out and was leaning against the counter with her cup to her lips. "Not in the mood for that either?" The older woman asked.

"Nope." Michonne kept her response short not really in the mood to speak with Carol. The older woman had been on the samurai's last nerve but she was trying her best to be cordial. After the stunts Carol, Rick, and Daryl pulled, they were lucky Michonne wasn't long gone with two new walkers to camouflage her from the dead. The things they did almost drove her crazy. If she would have lost Carl, that is exactly where she would have ended up.

"Are you okay?" Carol asked.

"Peachy." Michonne replied with a quick roll of her eyes.

"Is there a problem…between us?" It wasn't hard to tell by the uncharacteristic behavior of the other woman.

"Why would there be Carol?" Swinging her dreads wildly over her shoulder, Michonne turned to face the other woman with a frown displayed on her features.

Carol chose her next words carefully because she really didn't want to have a problem with Michonne. She wanted the complete opposite. She was tired of being angry and fighting. She just wanted to be at peace for a small fraction of her remaining days. "There just seems to be an issue brewing. You should just say what's on your mind."

"We," Michonne motioned between the two of them. "Have nothing to talk about. We weren't friends before we got here so there's no need to pretend we are now. It's not like you're a good friend anyways."

The bite in her tone caught the older woman off guard as she stared in confusion. The television was still blasting in the other room, so she knew they had to get everything out in the open while they had the chance. "Excuse me? I'm not a good friend?"

"You're not." The confidence was present in her response as she stared at Carol with an arched brow. "You stood by and helped Rick make a fool of himself."

A small smirk appeared on Carol's face before she shook her head, trying to gather her words. "You're still jealous over the Jessie mess? That was all his doing. You're mad at the wrong person, Michonne."

"No I'm not. I'm mad at the right person." She finally made her way into the kitchen and leaned against the table, standing directly in front of the white-haired lady. "I don't give a damn about Jessie. I care about Rick and his children. You sat there and let him make a fool of himself by chasing that woman and trying to conspire against this community when they helped us. Being a friend is telling people shit they don't want to hear and you should have stepped into that role and told Rick to get a damn grip but since you didn't, an innocent family is dead and Carl doesn't have both of his eyes. That shit is on you, Carol." Without waiting for a response, Michonne turned on her heels and walked back into the living room. Her eyes landed on Sasha, who was trying to read her facial expression. "I'm okay." She spoke, reclaiming her seat.

When Carol stayed in the kitchen for the duration of the movie, Michonne wasn't surprised. But she wasn't going to speak on it. She left that up to Maggie and Tara. She just sat back and got lost in her own thoughts as the women around her talked and enjoyed each other's company.

"How long has Rick been single?"

Michonne tuned back into the conversation, seeing eyes were shyly looking at her. But her attention was on the woman. She was thin with pale skin, and wavy red hair. Her freckles brought out a bit of character in her face but other than that, she was pretty bland; thin lips, oval eyes, button nose.

_She's normal. His type. _Michonne chuckled to herself before she reached for her drink and took a sip.

"Don't tell me none of you have tried to sink your claws into that fine ass man?" Chelsea continued, looking appalled. "He must be crazy." She reasoned.

"He is." Sasha spoke up with a chuckle.

"We all are. Look at how we're living." She flipped her red tresses before letting out a low sigh. "Since none of you are interested. You think I have a shot?"

"Go for it." Michonne spoke up, shocking everyone in the room.

Chelsea quickly caught on and shifted uncomfortably under the warrior's gaze. "Oh I'm sorry. Are you with Rick?"

"She is." Sasha spoke up because she knew her friend wasn't gonna own it. But she had heard story after story about this unproclaimed love and she was sick of the games they were playing. Rick had staked his claim and she needed to do the same.

"I thought so but I couldn't tell for sure." The newcomer mumbled. "Are you also seeing the other tall, dark, and handsome dude?"

Michonne rolled her eyes because she knew Chelsea was referring to Spencer and it honestly wasn't this woman's business who she was seeing. But the fact that she was inquiring about the two men had rubbed Michonne the wrong way.

"Sash, are you ready? It's time for our shift." Ignoring the lady's question, she reached for her sword and headed out of the door.

* * *

The sun had begun to set. Since the women had the mid day shift, they would miss dinner but Michonne would be able to catch bedtime. She loved putting Judy to sleep and couldn't imagine it being any other way. "Can I ask you a question?"

Sasha nodded as she stopped drinking her water and faced someone that was becoming her best friend.

"Do you think we're all genuine friends? Or are we just close because we didn't have any other options?"

"Huh? Why do you ask?"

"I told Carol that she wasn't a real friend for letting Rick run around like a damn lunatic. I seemed to be the only one that literally knocked some sense into him. Everyone else stood back and let him unravel. That's not friendship. Hell, what type of _family_ does that?"

Sasha let out a low breath as she looked into the distance. She had noticed the things Rick was doing but she was too consumed with her own grief to really care. "I was so wrapped up in my own issues to even notice." She admitted. "But once I figured it out, I just minded my business. Getting into white people's drama is not my favorite past time."

Michonne let out a loud laugh before shaking her head. "I know that's right. In the old world, I would have recorded Rick in the street acting crazy and posted it on my Facebook with the caption, 'Look at this hoodlum acting a fool.'"

"And he had on the constable uniform. Girl you would have gone viral." They continued to laugh and joke about the situation for a while before the brown skin woman cleared her throat. "But to answer your question, we wouldn't have crossed paths in the old world. We're all from different backgrounds but that is what makes our family special. They may not show up when you want them to but they do show up when they're needed." She took a deep breath and looked down at her boots. "We weren't there for that Jessie soap opera but we were there when we had to be, to fight for this place." Her eyes landed on Michonne. "And it was wrong for us to let you deal with that alone. You and Rick needed us. You still do. That's why I told Carl I'll re-teach him how to shoot as soon as you guys approve it."

"He'd love that." Michonne smiled, knowing Carl just wanted to feel normal again.

"We weren't close before we got here but I saw that you needed a friend and truth is, I needed one too. I was tired of being closed off." Sasha spoke, placing her curly hair into a pineapple ponytail. "I won't let you unravel like that."

The two women hadn't been friends that long but she trusted Sasha's word. "I wouldn't let you unravel either."

"I know. I remember you came to check on me that day." The memory was a little hazy but it was still present. "Rosita was there too."

"She was." There had to be a reason that was brought up, so she waited patiently for her friend to speak.

"I couldn't do some shady shit like that to her. I can't take her man."

"Do you like him?"

A low sigh left her lips as she shrugged. "I thought I did but I know for a fact that I like Daryl. He's different. He may only speak in grunts most of the time but when he has something to say, it's not just to hear himself speak, you know?"

Michonne nodded because she did know. She was well aware. She had spent plenty of time alone with the hunter as they searched for the Governor months back. "I'm still mad at him too." This was news to Sasha. So she didn't respond. She just let her friend vent. "He was there. He knew what happened with Rick's family in the beginning and he didn't step in to prevent that from happening to another. I know Rick is bullheaded but hearing it from Daryl could have put things into perspective."

"He didn't tell Glenn either." Sasha offered with a small sigh. "He knew that the two of you would have talked him out of it. So he had to go to the two people he knew would have his back right or wrong."

"Yeah well look at the mess they made."

"Daryl feels bad." Her voice was low but she knew Michonne heard her. "He didn't know bout the Jessie situation but he feels bad that he didn't step in sooner to check Rick about his behavior." She raised her hands at her friend's expression. "Not making an excuse for him. I'm just sayin' what was told to me."

They quickly fell into a comfortable silence before Michonne bit her bottom lip. "What was your life like before?"

"Whew," A wide smile appeared on the other woman's mouth. "I was a sport's agent." The gleam in her eyes made Michonne join in her excitement. "I was Ty's agent. He was in the NFL, played for the Falcons."

"I knew he looked familiar."

"Yeah he wasn't my only client. He was my only A-lister but I repped a few B-list stars." She leaned against the rail, making sure to keep her eyes on a swivel for any suspicious activity. "I had just got my own company started and bought my own condo in Midtown." A low chuckle left her lips. "I had finally purchased a black on black Range Rover. I was living my best life before." She quickly shook her head to stop herself from becoming emotional. "I hadn't fully lived yet though. I put my personal life on hold for my personal life. For some reason I couldn't have both but I've always wanted a family."

It was odd yet soothing that she was able to express this with someone. The two women had known each other for months but hadn't addressed each other much.

"I lived in Midtown. I had a condo there too." Michonne placed a stray loc behind her ear. "We were getting ready to sell and move to Buckhead."

"Big money." Sasha teased, playfully.

"I worked so hard for that promotion. I almost lost my boyfriend." She stared down at her hands. "It's crazy how the thing you love the most about someone becomes something that you eventually begin to hate. Mike, my boyfriend loved the fact that I was ambitious and had a ten year plan but he began to resent me for the same exact reason." Michonne looked into the evening sky and sighed. "But we were so happy. We rarely fought and we created something so special together; someone so special." There was no way to stop the tears even with the wide smile on her lips. "Even though I could feel the strain, he fought for us, for me."

"That's what you deserve." Sasha placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't settle. Not even at the end of the world." There was an underlying message that Michonne received loud and clear.

* * *

Rick walked past Michonne's room, seeing it was cracked open. He knocked and was granted entry by her quiet voice. He slowly entered, seeing Judith snuggled on her chest and Carl next to her knocked out with a candy bar wrapper lying next to him.

"Hey," he spoke quietly, walking over to retrieve his sleeping daughter. "They love that you're back home."

Michonne hummed in response as she got off of her bed and walked over to her boots, slipping them onto her feet. Rick's eyes traveled her body as she moved around the room.

"Goin' somewhere?" She had already taken her watch shift. So he was genuinely curious.

"Out." Was her short reply. She might have been back in their house but her mind was not.

"You've been out since you got back. He can come over here." The venom was clear in his words as she shook her head and handed him the baby monitor.

"Last time he was here you wouldn't leave us alone." Rick had never asked for coconut oil before in his life but the night Spencer was over, he had found literally any excuse to interrupt their time together. "It's just better if we're at his house. Alone." She spoke the last word over her shoulder as she grabbed her house key off of the dresser, placing the object in her back pocket.

She stood in front of her door waiting on him to exit. He bent down to wake up Carl before Michonne instructed him not to mess with the teenager.

Rick stared at her before he finally let out a low sigh and made his way to Judith's room to lay her in her crib. His actions were quick because he couldn't let Michonne leave just yet.

"You're still mad at me."

She stepped back from the front door, seeing him descending the stairs. "Did you really think that speech was going to be enough for me? You can't say you fell in love with me but still did what you did. I don't want that type of love, Rick."

"I'm so—"

Michonne cut him off by swinging her dreads over her shoulder in her new signature move. In the old world she did petty things like that all the time but this new world had her wanting to be better because tomorrow wasn't promised. However, Rick Grimes turned her into someone she barely recognized half the time. "Save it."

She held her hand up and made her way out of the door. Part of her wanted him to follow while the other half wanted him to really reflect on the bullshit that came out of his mouth.

It had been almost a week since she had moved back in. He was on his best behavior, making sure she didn't want a thing. He even had a full box of Big Kat's waiting on her bed but she was not impressed by the mediocre actions. Tonight was the only night he wasn't there to put his daughter to bed but she knew he would have to return to being a leader sooner or later. The extra attention was nice but it still couldn't make up for the pain she felt. He had the opportunity to do the same things months ago and chose not to but she told herself today that if they were going to move forward in any way, she had to find peace with Jessiegate. If she didn't, they were gonna be at a standstill and she didn't want that. She didn't know if she actually wanted Rick either now that he was ready for the taken but her heart knew. Her mind was stubborn and she was glad common sense outweighed at times.

Spencer was already on his porch, watching her approach. "Hey," he flashed a sly smile in her direction.

"Hey yourself," she replied, smirking.

"I thought we could sit out here tonight. Just enjoy the stars for a bit."

Michonne's face broke out into a full grin then. "I'd like that."

Things with Spencer were different from things with Rick. He couldn't easily read her, so he asked questions and she liked to oblige and answer. He wanted to get to know her and that made her feel alive.

The chocolate chip cookies and wine made her chuckle as she sat on the porch swing. "Did Carol make these?"

She could barely see the blush as it appeared on his cheeks in the moonlight. "No. I used my mom's recipe. I hope you like them."

"I'm sure I'm gonna love them." She picked up the wine glass first because a drink was something she really needed in the moment.

"Rough night?" Spencer asked, noticing she drank the glass half way down in one gulp.

Michonne shrugged and stared at him. "I don't want to talk about that." She knew eventually she would have to share with her companion the things that flowed between her and Rick but for right now, she liked the way things were. Undefined and uncomplicated. Easy. "You know," She reached over and grabbed his hand. "Whenever you feel like I'm playing games, call me out on it. Don't hesitate."

The young man nodded, making sure to keep that in his back pocket. He let out a low breath, enjoying her hand in his. "Favorite movie before?"

"_Spiderman_." Her response was automatic. "_Poetic Justice_ is a close second but I'm sure you don't know nothin' bout that." She took another sip of alcohol and began to relax.

"Wow Michonne, that's messed up." Spencer shook her head, causing a few curly strains to fall onto his forehead. She reached over and smoothed the hair back, feeling a small churn in her stomach. Her heart rate sped up as he stared at her lips, licking his. She placed her hand in her lap and stared into the distance. "I was a huge Tupac fan, so I actually know that movie."

"Shut up." She couldn't believe it. Spencer joined her laughter before he started rapping Keep Ya Head Up, which happened to be her favorite 'Pac song. "Wow. I slept on you. Let me wake up."

"You better." He replied, leaning over to grab her legs placing him on his lap, catching her off guard. "There's more to me than meets the eye."

"Hm," She hummed. "Besides Tupac, did you listen to a lot of rap or just the golden age of the 90s?"

"I'm more of a country guy." That she knew. "But I liked Kendrick Lamar and Drake too."

"Safe answers." She replied. "I liked Carrie Underwood, The Band Perry and Rascal Flatts. I'm not gonna pretend I listened to country all of the time or even a quarter of the time but I know some records."

His hand rubbed against her leg, causing a sensation to travel up her frame. "A restaurant you miss?"

She placed her index finger to her chin and tapped, thoughtfully. "This placed called The Vortex in Atlanta. They had the biggest burgers. They were so big and I would literally sit there and try to eat the entire thing by myself." A small smile appeared on her face she thought about sharing the meal with Mike and her son. "Favorite TV show?"

"The Office." He replied shyly.

"Seriously? Me too."

He finally reached for his glass and swallowed some of the contents before popping a cookie in half and handing piece over. Michonne took the treat with a smile. A low moan came from her mouth as she chewed. "Good?" Spencer asked, nervously.

"Great. You have the magic touch." Her eyes were on his hand as it rested on her leg.

Once again he blessed her with a shy grin as his skin reddened.

The two sat out on his porch until it was time for him to take over watch at midnight. Michonne flashed a wide smile and waved as she entered her house key into the slot and walked inside the door. She really enjoyed her time with Spencer. It was refreshing and she needed the lightweight energy sometimes. Everything was always so intense with.. "Rick?!" She placed her hand on her chest to catch her breath, seeing the man standing in front of her. "You scared me. You're lucky I didn't have my sword."

He completely ignored her empty threat as he followed her to the staircase. "What did you say to Carol?"


	6. Chapter 6: Girls Need Love

_Dammit Rick._ He chastised himself as soon as that sentence left his mouth. He wasn't trying to be confrontational. He was actually interested in the conversation because he had to put Carol in her place earlier after she stated their _irrational love sick actions_ were clouding their visions. Michonne didn't need him to defend her but he was happy to step into the role.

"Why does it seem like we're always arguing?" She asked, staring at him with sad eyes. Her voice was soft and her shoulders were deflated, indicating how tired she was and he knew she was in more ways than one.

"I wasn't tryin' to. I'm genuinely curious." Rick ran a hand through his curls. "I know you're tired of me apologizin' but I mean it every single time I say it." He confessed. His jealousy decided to step in after he saw the big smile plastered on her face as she walked through their front door. "I didn't mean to jump down your throat. But I am tryin' here Michonne and I feel like you're pushin' me away. If you don't want this, I promise I'll deal with that. Just let me know if I truly have a shot here."

The vulnerability was written all over his face as her eyes traveled him from head to toe. Rick was a lot of things but vindictive was not one. She knew all of the tension was getting to him and the last thing she wanted to do was add another burden to his back but she wasn't going to make this easy for him either.

Letting out a deep breath, she grabbed his hand and walked over to the couch. "I'm not sorry for making you earn me." A small smile played on her lips as she plopped down. "I'm also not sorry for weighing my options but I don't want to be mad at you anymore, Rick." He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "That's not how my past relationships worked. I don't do passive aggressive."

"Good. I dealt with passive aggression for the last few years of my marriage and I would like to avoid going down that road again." His eyes were locked with hers. "I like to think that we're better than that." And they were better than that. Michonne wasn't Lori. She didn't make him feel less than whenever she got the chance. She challenged him when she needed to but more than anything Michonne was there when he needed her the most, unlike his deceased wife when she was alive.

Michonne looked down at his empty ring finger and sighed. "Carol antagonized me. I shouldn't have said what I said but I don't regret calling her out."

"She said you blamed her for the Andersons and Carl." Rick spoke slowly, not wanting to upset her. "Is that how you feel?"

"I don't know." Michonne shrugged before lying back on the couch, throwing her legs across his lap. "I don't feel like it's not her fault." Rick's hand automatically started massaging her calves. It was taking all of her self restraint not to let out a low moan. "I just feel like this manipulation shit she is constantly pulling is getting old." Rick didn't say anything as he let her speak freely, wanting to know her honest thoughts. "She didn't even seem remorseful. And I was right to let her know that she is a horrible friend. She wasted no time throwing you under the bus."

"Is that right?" He asked as his hands traveled higher.

"Mhm," She moaned, closing her eyes. "I just want you to know that I wasn't jealous of you and Jessie." The alcohol was flowing through her veins, making her more open than she had been in a long time with the person she loved most in this world. "I was hurt but I wasn't jealous." She clarified licking her lips.

"Well I am jealous." His voice was low and husky as he watched the faces she made under his touch. "There's no need for me to lie bout that." A tingle ran down her spine as his hands moved above her knee, continuing the soothing motion. "I want you to myself."

Michonne hummed, smirking before her features turned into a small pout. "Did you sleep with her?"

Rick looked up from her toned thighs to her low eyes, seeing she was already staring at him. "I didn't. We kissed once." He spoke, casually. "It was missing the hmph though." If she wasn't drunk, she wouldn't have giggled at that but she knew what he was referencing. The action didn't have that spark. "It felt like nothing compared to what I felt when I tasted you."

Her stomach churned as she tried her best to break away from his gaze but she was stuck. His hands moved a little higher and it felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. All of the hurt and neglect she had been feeling for weeks was disappearing under his calloused hands. Rick made her feel a lot of things but the only thing she felt in this moment was hunger. She wanted to wait it out a lot longer but what she _really _wanted was to feel his body flush against her own.

"Can I kiss you?"

Words were the furthest thing from her mind as she nodded. He placed her legs on the couch and placed his hands on the cushion next to her head. His eyes surveyed her face to verify that she was sure. When Michonne closed the remaining distance, he felt a sense of pride knowing she was just as hungry for him.

She placed her hands on both sides of his face before angling her head and deepening the kiss. She let Rick take the lead as he claimed her tongue as his own. The action started off slow but quickly gained momentum as she ran her fingers up his back, pulling him closer.

"Michonne," Her name came out as a groan. Rick's skin was on fire under her fingertips. He pulled back, seeing her eyes open slowly. "I don't want to share you."

She ignored his proclamation and reclaimed his lips, shifting her legs, allowing Rick more room as she wrapped them around his waist pulling him even closer to her throbbing center. Neither could believe this was happening but no one dared to stop it. The possessiveness in his voice did more to her than she was willing to admit. An assertive man had always been welcomed but she knew Rick was claiming her in this moment. The realization coursed through her veins settling into the dampness that was now in her panties.

"Don't get scared now." He playfully challenged, loving the way she reacted to him; but they both knew once they made this step there was no way for them to go back.

Michonne squealed as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her even closer. She could feel her heart thumping against her chest as he explored every inch of her, his hand finally reaching under her tank top, causing goosebumps to appear immediately as he hiked the material taking in her toned stomach.

Rick leaned down and kissed every visible spot, loving the taste against his lips. He was managing to render her speechless with his simple actions but there was no way she would let him know that.

"I'm not scared." She mumbled not even recognizing her own voice. "Tell me how bad you want me." She coached as her fingers got tangled in his curls.

Above her Rick groaned as she tightened her legs around him. A smirk appeared on her swollen lips as she felt more confident, seeing nothing but desire in his eyes as he finally looked at her. "I've never wanted anythang or anyone as bad as I want you."

Hell, she felt the same way. She wanted no other man the way she wanted Rick Grimes. Not even before the world turned to shit. "We can't stay down here." Rick kissed her cutting off the sentence as his thumb rubbed against her right nipple, causing the pebble to harden. "Daryl can come home." Her breathing picked up as he lowered the cup of her bra and circled his tongue around the sensitive piece of skin. "Carl can wake up."

"My room or yours?" His voice was so low, his sentence sounded like a series of grunts.

"Yours." She replied without much thought.

Reluctantly pulling back, he stood from the couch and fixed himself in his pajamas but there was no use. Michonne could still make out the thick budge in the darkened room. She involuntarily licked her lips and pulled her shirt above her head as she headed towards the stairs. Rick's eyes were glued to her toned back as she moved.

"Coming?" she asked, throwing the item at his chest. He barely caught it being so enticed by the sway of her hips. A sly smirk took over her features as she saw him finally making his way in her direction.

Her mind was finally processing what was about to transpire in this bed as she stood next to Rick's dresser. He was still by the door, drinking in her frame. A seductive smile took over her features as she watched his jaw clench. He was trying to hold onto his composure but she wanted him to let go. She wanted to know how much he craved her.

Toeing off her shoes, Michonne kept her eyes on Rick. His heated gaze followed her every move and she loved having the leader under full control.

Rick was about to combust staring at her as she played with her waistband, slowly bending over to pull down the skin tight pants, never breaking their eye contact. His tongue swiped his bottom lip as he took in her smooth chocolate skin. His hands flexed at his side as he fought off the urge to touch her. It was taking all of his self control not to throw her on the bed and do every single thing he had wanted to for weeks, maybe months but if he was being honest he wanted her at the prison. He was just too consumed with his own grief to act. Now he wasn't about to let that dictate how he lived his life. He wanted to live and feel...with Michonne, for Michonne and his children.

Her steps were soft and deliberate as she stood a few inches away from his face. His eyes moved slowly from her flimsy bra to the lace panties she wore. The garment left nothing to his imagination and he groaned out loud, needing to touch her. "Show me how much you want me, Rick."

In one long stride, he ate up the distance and crashed his mouth to hers. Her fingers found their new favorite place: his curls, opening her mouth as he demanded entry with his tongue. His hands landed on her lower back before they moved to cup her ass. She let out a low moan as he gripped hard, picking her up in the process.

Michonne wrapped her legs around him as he finally broke away for air, making his way down her face to her neck, not leaving one spot untouched, unkissed.

Rick walked to the bed, careful not to trip as he placed her on top of the comforter. His lips began to trail her body, causing her back to arch off of the surface. He tugged at her panties, feeling her body stiffen. "Are you sure? If you're havin' doubts just say it and we can stop."

Letting out a deep breath, Michonne leaned up on her elbows. Rick hovered over her body, staring, waiting on her next move. So much flowed through her mind but she needed to shut it off because all she wanted was to feel good and live in the moment. They could discuss everything else later. "Show me, Rick."

He tilted his head to the side, watching her closely. She flashed a seductive smile as she slid from under him, never breaking their eye contact as she unhooked her bra. Adrenaline began to flow through her veins as she watched his pupils become even darker as he took in her naked torso.

The right side of his mouth rose a little as he stared at her naked frame, loving every moment of this. "Lay back." He instructed, spreading her thighs and lowering himself. He had to stop a groan from leaving his lips at the glistening sight in front of him. She was more than ready but he wanted to taste her before they went any further. Her aroma filled his nose and he couldn't help but feel prideful at the way she reacted to him.

Michonne looked down to see his eyes were already on her as his tongue swirled around her bundle of nerves. "Shit," she hissed, loving how good his mouth felt. It was clear Rick was not new to this as he took his time alternating between licking, sticking, and sucking.

She reached down and grabbed his curls as she rotated her hips against his tongue. "Ooh. Just like that, baby." His hands were planted firmly on her thighs, keeping them apart as she felt her orgasm building. It had been a while since she had any type of affection but the fact that she was on edge in less than five minutes was a record.

Rick could feel her wetness coating his face and neck as he pushed his tongue deep inside of her. "Mm," He hummed against her clit, making her body jump.

When she looked down, Rick's eyes were closed as he focused on his task. The sight was driving her closer. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up, taking in each expression she made from the pleasure he was bringing. And if his tongue didn't feel so good, she would have been embarrassed but there was no need to be. They were too far gone to turn back. It was now and forever.

Another moan slipped past her lips as he plunged a finger inside, causing her to call out his name, forgetting all about the children sleeping a few feet away in the next room. He hummed again and inserted another finger loving the way she squirmed. It wasn't hard to tell that she was close.

He kept going until she fell apart a few seconds later, grabbing his hair tightly in her hands as he licked up every drop, holding her in place.

Once he pulled back, all Michonne could do was try to get her breathing under control but the sight of his stubble covered in her juices, drove her crazy. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him long and hard.

"What do you want me to do now, Michonne?" She could feel his hard budge against her thigh.

"Make love to me, Rick." Her response was automatic as she stared at him. His eyes roamed her face before he nodded and got undressed. She didn't dare look away from the amazing sight that was in front of her as he climbed back over. Her head moved slightly, letting him know she was still there with him. She was ready. Without any hesitation his right hand grabbed her left thigh while he guided himself inside of her with his free hand. "Ooh shit," She moaned out. "Wait. Hol' on." She placed a hand on his chest, causing his pace to slow down. He asked if she was alright and after a few seconds of getting adjusted she moved her hips, signaling for him to continue.

He slowly pushed in and stopped himself once again. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Michonne's cheeks ran hot as she reached up and pulled his face down to hers. "I'm alright."

Rick nodded, causing his messy curls to fall to his face as he started to move his hips. His pace was slow as he leaned down and kissed her, deeply. All of sensual touches and kisses were driving her insane. "I don't want to share you." The sentence sent a tingle down her spine, causing her walls to clutch around him, pulling him deeper inside. He leaned onto his forearms and sped up the rhythm. "You heard me?"

"Mhm," She moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist, bringing their chests flush together. "I heard you."

The words were the fuel to Rick's fire as he sped up his movements even more, making her cry out. He crushed his mouth on hers, drowning out her noise. The last thing he wanted was for one of the kids to wake up and interrupt this beautiful moment.

His hands trailed up her soft skin as he grabbed her thighs and threw her legs over his shoulders, going even deeper than before. "Rick," his name fell from her mouth as she watched him. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth as he watched himself moving in and out of her wetness.

She was happily giving up her control to him because despite the mistakes he had made, she still trusted this man with her life, her love, her heart, her fears, regrets, and now her body. That revelation drove her close to another orgasm as she used the energy she had and rolled her hips to meet his.

Rick's arms held her in place as he continued to pump in and out. "You feel so good." He mumbled cursing under his breath.

"Oh God," Michonne whined, wrapping her arms around his neck, matching his rhythm. She clutched around him, feeling the euphoric sensation taking over her body once again, harder than the first time.

"Damn, Michonne." Rick looked down, seeing she creamed all over him. The sight alone was enough to send him over. He quickly pulled out and spilled all over her stomach.

"I wonder if my IUD is still active." She wondered out loud as he collapsed next to her, pulling her close. "I need to clean up."

"Give me a few more minutes." This was a moment he didn't want to end. He wanted to live it for a little longer. There was no telling where her mind was and Rick wanted her to be with him like this all of the time, not just for an hour or two in secret.

"We're not done." She turned her head and kissed him. "But I do need to clean this off of my stomach."

He grunted as he reluctantly rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom. A small smile played on her lips as she watched his small, white butt disappear into the room returning with a damp washcloth to thoroughly clean her off before discarding the item onto the floor, pulling her to him once more. "You okay?"

"I'm more than okay, Rick."

"I'm more than okay, too."

Michonne pushed him onto his back before straddling his hips. "I know."

* * *

Chelsea had been smiling at Carl all day and it was honestly on Michonne's last nerve. She turned her attention to Judith as the young girl crawled over and sat between Michonne's legs to lean against her stomach.

"I think that lady likes dad." Carl spoke, finally tuning into their impromptu picnic.

"What makes you say that?" She asked, running her hand gently over Judith's blonde hair.

"I just know." His brows furrowed as they always did when he was concentrating on choosing his words carefully. Michonne stared off, watching the members of the community until Carl finally realized what he wanted to say. "I know we don't talk about Jessie." His words were so soft, she thought she imagined them. "But I'm sorry. I thought my dad just felt bad for killing her husband and I felt that too. I know what it is like to lose a parent and I was just trying to be a good friend. That's why I tried to make peace with Ron. I should have spoken up about the gun though." She finally looked over. "Maybe I'll still have both of my eyes if I had let you and my dad know what happened in the garage."

Michonne's heart constantly broke for the young man in front of her. They hadn't talked about the incident since he first woke up. That time period was hard for everyone. So this was a topic they avoided like the plague.

"That's not on you."

"It is. In a way I think I knew my dad was interested in her but I couldn't see how. I thought he would have said something to me about it." Carl let out a low sigh. "He's talked to me about you."

"Is that right?" Her interest was piqued.

"Mhm," the young boy hadn't even realized he gave out classified information but Michonne was his best friend; he could and would tell her everything. "Do you think dad was trying to replace their dad? Is that why Ron was so angry?"

"Have you talked about this with your dad?" She reached over and grabbed two apple slices, dipped them in peanut butter before handing one to Judith and keeping one for herself.

"No, I want to know what you were thinking during that period."

"Honestly?" She placed the piece of fruit into her mouth and chewed.

Carl nodded. He wouldn't have asked if he wasn't looking for her truth on the situation.

"I was annoyed." She spoke wiping the baby's mouth. "Your dad was _off_ during that time and I just wanted to understand." Her eyes closed involuntarily as she thought about it. "Your dad was attracted to Jessie. Don't let him tell you otherwise and you don't need to downplay it for my benefit. We all saw that going down in flames."

The teenager didn't know how to respond. He fiddled with his hat, making Michonne chuckle. But this is what he loved the most about their relationship. She didn't speak to him as if he was a child. "I didn't really think about it too much." He admitted. "I just followed his lead. He wasn't going to steer us wrong. He had gotten us so far." She nodded as he continued. This was a far cry from the Carl she first met at the prison that constantly challenged Rick. It was good that he finally saw that all the good his dad did outweighed the slips of bad things. He wasn't perfect but he tried so hard to protect them, to keep them safe. "But he hurt you."

"This is the last time I'm going to talk about this." Michonne spoke more to herself than to Carl. She was honestly tired of speaking on Jessiegate. Sure she was hurt by Rick's actions but she had come to terms with it. This was not a topic she wanted to constantly discuss any longer. "I wasn't upset with your dad about Jessie. The entire situation was messy and was over before it even began. I was more disappointed than anything." She picked up the bottle next to her and took a sip of water, feeling Judith growing heavier on her chest. When she looked down, it was confirmed that the small child was sleeping with the sticky treat covering her mouth. "I was there while he grieved for this woman." The time frame was pretty short considering. "But he was pushing me away in the process." She shook her head while letting out a slow breath, looking away from Carl. Rick was human. He had some type of connection with the blonde and more than anything, Michonne knew he was carrying that burden of guilt on his shoulders. And a small part of her knew he strayed away because he felt like everything he touched turned to dust. But she wasn't like Jessie or Lori. She didn't need him."He came around and we helped each other get through that time but I was already reaching my limit by the time he realized."

"You know if they would have survived, I would have moved with you if you chose to leave."

"Rick was not letting that happen." A low chuckle left her lips as she shook her head trying to picture it.

"He wouldn't have let you leave either though."

"He has." She countered. "But we don't need to live in the land of 'what ifs'. Let's focus on the now." Carl nodded, agreeing. "Now what does your dad say about me?"

The young teen had forgot he even let that slip as his cheeks reddened. He breathed a sigh of relief once he spotted Sasha and his dad heading in their direction. The two rifles in Sasha's hands made him stand on his knees as he anticipated what was about to happen. Michonne didn't need to turn around to know why Carl was so excited. She had spoken with Rick about Sasha's offer last night as she laid wrapped in his tan, muscular arms. He had agreed that this was a great way to get their son adjusted to his new normal.

"Are y'all really gonna let me do this?" He was fully on his feet by the time the other two arrived to the blanket. His blue eye moved from his dad to Michonne and back again. When he was met with a smile from the three adults, he wanted to jump for joy. "Awesome. Thank you."

"You ready to go now?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah!" Carl leaned down, careful not to wake his sister and kissed Michonne's cheek before hugging his dad and disappearing to the watch tower with his new trainer.

"I haven't seen him this excited in a long time." Rick spoke, lowering himself onto the blanket.

"Yeah," Michonne spoke, watching as he closed the distance between them and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "What was that?" She tried to hide her smile but there was no use.

"I missed you today. Sorry I had to miss breakfast and lunch." He looked down at the remaining sandwich and apple slices. "Is this for me?" She nodded as she wiped Judith's mouth and laid her down on the soft piece of fabric. "We can take her home in a few."

"No rush." She replied, letting out a low sigh.

Things had changed between the two of them immediately. Of course she knew the sex would change the dynamic, she just didn't know everything would feel so natural between them. Waking up in his arms felt normal as well as the kiss he greeted her with. This was a bit overwhelming but welcomed.

"You know Chelsea has a thing for you?" Her eyes studied the woman from across the street looking in their direction.

Rick groaned before nodding. "Oh yeah. I know."

"What you mean you know?" It was his tone that caught her attention more than the sentence. "Did she say something to you?"

A small smile played on Rick's lips as he stared at her jealousy peaking through. "It's nothing to worry about. I handled it."

"Hm," That was hard to believe but she was going to trust him for now. "She sure can't stay away from Carl." She turned and faced him. "How did you handle it?"

He polished off the rest of his sandwich and grabbed her bottle of water, finishing that as well before he finally looked at her. "Like this." Rick placed his hand on the side of her face before he leaned in and captured her lips in the way he had imagined all day. Michonne moaned into his mouth as she parted her lips, allowing him access, tasting the ham and cheese he had just consumed. "She and everyone out here now knows." His forehead rested against hers. "And I'm sure everyone that is missing will know by the time the sun goes down."

"Including Carl." She smirked, turning her head in the direction of the tower but her eyes didn't land on her best friend, they landed on Spencer.

Rick followed her gaze and Michonne felt his body tense immediately. "Guess you need to handle that."

"Yeah I do." He deserved more than a public display of affection. He was owed an explanation and she was at a loss. How was she supposed to relay the message of what occurred within the past seventeen hours? She had no idea but she had to figure it out and fast.


	7. Chapter 7: Keep the Family Close

Rick let out a sigh as he walked into the house. Today he was on construction crew for the wall and his body literally hurt all over. After the impromptu picnic, he walked Michonne and Judith home then went right back to work. All he wanted at the moment was to see his children, to take a shower, to hold Michonne and sleep.

"Hey dad." Carl called from the kitchen table with his head buried in a comic.

"How did you know it was me?" Rick asked, making his way into the room.

"The boots."

"Huh," He was always impressed by his son's new heightened sense. "How was training with Sasha?"

Carl finally looked at his dad as he sat in the seat directly in front of him. "It was awesome. I didn't know I could be so excited to learn." He admitted. "The scope makes everything easier for me and I'm glad that's the weapon she chose. She knows what she's doing." Rick chuckled lowly. "I always knew she was our best shot but seeing it up close and getting all of her secrets is a whole new experience."

It had been a long time since Carl had been this excited and Rick was glad that they made the right choice by letting their son take the lessons. "Glad to hear it." He cleared his throat and sat back in his seat. "So I wanted to talk to you bout something."

A wide smirk appeared on the young boy's face as he leaned his arms on the table and focused fully on his dad. "Is this about you and Michonne?"

Everyone in the community was aware of their union at this point but he wanted to talk to his son as soon as possible. Michonne wanted to be there but Rick assured her he would handle it. This wasn't the only thing the Grimes' boys needed to discuss. "Some of it." Carl didn't respond so Rick continued. "This is different. It just happened and I wanted to speak with you about it. I didn't want you to find out the way you did."

The corner's of the young man's face turned up even more into a full blown smile. "It's cool. I honestly thought y'all would have gotten together a while ago."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm but you weren't ready and I think she tried to understand that."

Damn did everyone notice the things that went on between him and Michonne? Was he the only clueless one? "I didn't intentionally hurt her. By the time I realized I was actually in love with her, the herd was here and everything was happening so fast." The end had to be staring him in the face once again for things to shift into perspective. "But I had already messed up."

"With Jessie." Carl finished. "You liked her. There's no shame in that, dad, but we can't just act like it didn't happen. I lost a damn eye."

"Carl!" Rick tilted his head and stared at his son, waiting for an explanation for the language.

"I'm sorry for cursing but I mean that. It's like we walk on eggshells about what happened. Maybe you really were clueless and didn't realize you were hurting Michonne. Maybe you didn't know she was really into you and maybe you didn't grasp the fact that you were into her. But Jessie happened. She was real. Her sons were real. Her husband was real."

"I was wrong for all of that." His southern drawl was strong as he pled with his son for understanding. "I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm not perfect and that's not an excuse. It just took some time for me to get it together and if I could do it all over again, I would." His eyes teared up as he stared at his son. "You wouldn't be missing.."

"Dad stop." Carl's tone softened. "That's not on you. Ron was angry. That's what almost happened in the garage. Even if they would have survived, that would have been a problem." A silence soon consumed them as the younger man let out a low sigh. "Were you trying to be his dad?"

Rick's head jumped back. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "You were trying to teach him to shoot and-"

He cut his son off. "They needed to know how to survive. He was your age and I automatically put him in your category. You've bounced back time and time again but everyone isn't that resilient. Hell, you've lost your way a few times and I totally disregarded that. But I had left that family weak. I doubt if Pete could actually protect them but they were even more vulnerable without him and I felt bad." Carl gave his dad a pointed look. "And yes, I was attracted to Jessie."

They sat in silence, lost in their thoughts for a while. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too." Rick admitted, honestly. He liked being open and honest with his son. They didn't have the luxury of secrets. Things could be over within the blink of an eye. "I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't come to me about Ron."

"It was just," Carl furrowed his brows, trying to collect his thoughts. "You were _off_ during that time." He used his best friend's words to describe his dad. "If I had told you, part of me believed you would have killed him without a second thought and I didn't want anyone else to die. We came here to live and it felt like we were constantly losing people."

Rick knew that feeling well. That was running through his mind while he was on his rampage.

"But his anger was something that I should have taken into consideration. Then maybe I would not have such a messed up face."

"Don't." Rick tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "That is not your fault. He was angry and nothing would have been able to change that. I realized that too late. I overlooked so much, too much. Don't carry that burden, Carl."

"And you shouldn't either. You did what you thought was right. Pete was beating her. You may have been selfish in your reasoning but it was still right. He put everyone in danger with that katana. He broke into this house." There was a dark look on his face before it disappeared. "Don't regret that. He killed an innocent man. A man that created this place. It is what it is."

The front door opened and the voices of the women of the house flowed throughout as Michonne talked to Judith, who babbled back trying to participate in the conversation. She stopped at the entry into the kitchen, seeing the two men at the table. The weight of the conversation was plastered on both of their faces.

"Dadada," Judith called out, reaching for Rick. He met Michonne half way and pecked her lips before grabbing his daughter. Her eyes widened a little as she avoided looking at Carl.

"Is, um, is everything okay?"

"It's fine." Carl answered, waiting on her to look at him. "How was your day, Michonne?"

"Good." She replied, moving around the kitchen, finding ingredients for dinner. "How was training?"

"Great." The excitement that flowed from him finally got her to turn around and meet his eye. "I actually had fun."

"I'm happy for you." She flashed a wide smile as someone knocked on their front door. "I'll get it."

Carol stood in front of her, holding a pan. The women stared at each other without a word. Michonne placed her hand on her hip as she waited for the older woman to speak. "I brought dinner. I hoped we could talk. Me, you, and Rick."

Michonne moved back, allowing her to enter. She didn't know what to make of this visit. The last time they spoke, there was a lot that was said and left unsaid. She wanted to clear the air because at the end of the day, they were family but she was going to speak her mind no matter what. Her mama always told her it wasn't what was said but how it was said. And she was aware of the way she came at Carol but she didn't regret it. The woman needed to hear it.

The family ate dinner, letting Carl go into detail about his training. He was so animated, making everyone smile at the fact that he still had some of his optimism. Daryl walked in during the story but became engrossed once he washed his hands and joined everyone at the table.

The hunter had a red blotch on his neck and Michonne chuckled. It was obvious Sasha had been keeping him busy but that was a story for another time.

An hour later the adults were seated around the living room with glasses of wine. Michonne was ready to get this over with. She was tired and needed a shower. After Judy woke up from her nap, she dropped the baby off with Gabriel and helped with clean up. All of the dead walkers were almost cleared from the community. It had been months and they were still cleaning up that mess.

"I heard the good news." Carol spoke staring between the new couple. "I am happy for you too." Rick searched her face, seeing the sincerity. He nodded his thanks and waited for her to finish. "I don't want any tension between us." Her eyes focused on the woman of the house. "I don't know if you know my story but I have been where Jessie was and I wanted to help out. Maybe I did project my fears onto her and used Rick's attraction."

"Maybe?"

Carol let out a deep breath. It was clear the samurai was not going to let her off that easy. "I definitely used it to my advantage and I take responsibility for my part in it."

"Hm," Michonne shrugged, remembering how Carol straight up lied to her face in that cell. How was this little speech different that the community play she had been putting on for the other residents? She wasn't sure but she was done being angry. It was pointless. "I'm not upset anymore and I shouldn't have thrown that burden at you. But the truth is you could have talked some sense into him. You didn't want to. You wanted control too and you used manipulation to get over. You tried that on me too and we're supposed to be family. Your co-conspirer here," She patted Rick's leg. "Spilled the news about the guns before Pete even killed Reg. So I knew and still let him keep it." That news took the white-haired woman by surprise. "I'm on your side." Michonne let out a small sigh. "But don't ever lie to me again. If you feel like you need to tell me a bold face lie, don't talk to me."

"That's fair." She agreed with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "So we're good?"

"We're good." She confirmed, taking another sip of her wine.

Daryl was quiet before he spoke up, apologizing for his hand in the situation but Michonne was over it. It had happened and no one could change it. She just wanted everyone to do better moving forward. That was all she needed from the people seated around her.

* * *

Rick walked out of the bathroom into his room not seeing Michonne. They had agreed that his room would become theirs since it was bigger with a bathroom attached, it made the most sense.

He quickly dried off and put on a pair of sweatpants before emerging from the room and making his way to hers. She was walking out when they nearly bumped into each other. "I thought you changed your mind." Rick spoke, staring down at her.

"No. I didn't." She flashed a small smile before breaking their eye contact.

"What is it?" He could still read her. There was obviously something on her mind. He closed the remaining distance between them, placing his hands on her hips.

"I don't want to drag this out. I want to speak with Spencer. Carol actually inspired me. I want to be free from any guilt." She finally looked back at his face. "I don't want him to think I dragged him along. That is not a good feeling."

The slight shade was not missed by Rick but he opted out of acknowledging it. "You want to do this right now?" It had to be after 10 o'clock. "It can't wait until tomorrow?"

"Rick." She simply stated, smiling. "It can't. I want to get this over with so I can come back home to you and the kids."

Reluctantly he nodded his head and took a step back. "Don't take too long. I've been anticipating holdin' you all day."

Michonne's face heated up at the confession because she had been thinking about his hands flowing over her skin all day. She promised she would make it as quick as possible before she headed out of their house and down the block. Spencer was already out there, sitting on the porch swing, startling her before she had the chance to knock.

"Hi," She said after catching her breath. "Watching the stars again tonight?"

"Yeah. It helps me clear my mind." He broke their eye contact and stared back into the sky. "Why are you here, Michonne? You and Rick made your relationship very clear today."

The bite in his tone didn't bother her. Hell, she lived with Rick Grimes. Spencer Monroe's attitude was a nice stroll around the park.

She let out a low sigh and sat next to him, making sure to keep the distance. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't expect things with Rick to actually get somewhere after everything that happened."

He didn't reply right away as he continued to stare at the moon. "There was something there this entire time and I ignored it because it felt you were picking me just like he picked Jessie."

_Ouch. _

"I thought that you knew that I could treat you how you deserved. I may have been behind these walls for two years but I can protect you too. I'm not weak. Sheltered, sure. But the same way this world has changed you and your people, it changed me and mine. If losing my family wasn't the thing that helped me get my shit together, almost losing this place definitely showed me what we took for granted." He paused and faced her. "I know we can't bond over surviving on the outside together or children but Michonne, we do have a connection."

"I'm not denying that. We did have a connection. You were fresh and new. You helped me realize that I could have a life here and I want that."

"With Rick." He finished the statement.

"I just wanted to speak with you in person. You deserved more than a little PDA." She reached over and patted his hand. "You deserve someone that is all in with you and sadly, I wasn't. My heart ached for someone else and that wasn't fair. I hurt you and that wasn't in my intentions."

Spencer shrugged before running his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have ignored the signs but I get it. No need to settle just because it's the end of the world."

"Being with you would not have been settling." She reasoned. "You're a good catch. You've proved yourself over and over again. Some woman is going to be very lucky."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Rick is lucky."

"He is." In more ways than one. "There are other woman here that want you. Take a shot but don't settle."

He chuckled before breaking their gaze. Any woman that wasn't her would be settling but he had accepted defeat. Rick Grimes had won again. It was such a pattern that he was getting used to. "Thanks for being there for me. It was hard after my mom and you helped me."

"I know the feeling too well." The confession was unexpected but it didn't hurt to talk about who she had lost. Keeping their memory alive was special. "I'm always here for you."

A low chuckle left Spencer's lips. "Let's not pretend we can be friends. I can't be just your friend but I will respect your relationship. Thanks for coming over." With that he leaned over and kissed her cheek before he stood and walked to his front door. "Bye Michonne."

"Bye Spence."

By the time she made it back to the house, it had to be after midnight. She had left the Monroe house and decided to walk around to clear her mind before heading back to Rick.

The door swung open as soon as she stepped onto the porch.

Rick looked surprised to see her. He placed his trusty python in its holster before he swept her into his arms. "I was coming to look for you." He informed. "It's been two hours. It doesn't take that long to say, I love Rick and you don't compare."

Michonne chuckled against his chest before she leaned up and kissed his plump lips. "I was walking around thinking." She admitted, smiling at the protective grip he had on her. "Thank you for your concern."

"I'm always concerned for you."

She nodded and grabbed his hand, leading the way into the house and to their bedroom. After stripping down to her undergarments, she grabbed one of his t-shirts and placed it over her body before laying down. She hadn't noticed Rick's lustful stare as he stood watching her, eyes traveling her entire frame.

"Rick," she spoke lowly. "What is something you miss from the old world?" That spurred him into action as he finally got ready to lay down with his girlfriend.

"Um," He pulled his shirt over his head and kicked off his boots before finally climbing in, pulling her to him. "ESPN."

"Yeah? What were you favorite sports?"

"Baseball." He spoke, placing his hand in her hair. "I did enjoy Football too. I had season passes for the Falcons."

"Me too." She smiled into his chest. "Wonder if we would have ran into each other one game."

"Maybe." He whispered, considering the possibility. "What's something you miss?"

"My hairdresser." A low chuckle left her lips. "I got my hair retwisted once a month."

Rick twirled one of the locs between his fingers. "You could teach me and we can keep that tradition alive."

"That's sweet but I'll let Sasha do the honor." She let out a low sigh. "I might take you up on that, though. You're very attentive. So I'll let you know."

"Good." He smiled not even realizing this was something he wanted to do for her. "I also miss the internet."

"And cable. I would love to watch an episode of Real Housewives."

"Really?" Rick was surprised. "I didn't peg you as a reality tv person."

Michonne scoffed. "Flavor of Love got me hooked. Reality tv shows were my guilty pleasure. I loved trashy television shows."

Rick hummed and smiled, imagining Michonne on her couch with a glass of wine watching the things Lori and her friends looked down on.

"But once I really got into my career, I saw it unfold in front of my eyes in real time. All of the custody battles and infidelity cases should have been enough entertainment for me but they weren't." She giggled under her breath.

"Family lawyer, huh?"

"Yes," She smiled. "And I loved it."

"If the world hadn't gone to shit, I probably could have used your assistance. I would have needed the best and I know it was you."

Michonne sat up and stared at his face. He had never spoken freely about Lori or their life before. So this had taken her by surprise. "Was it really that bad?" He arched his brow, questioningly. "Andrea gave me all of the information I needed about the starting line up. That was part of the reason I grabbed the milk. If Merle recognized Maggie and Glenn, I knew you were the people that Andrea was with. And if she cared about you, I had to help you."

Rick leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You don't know how you changed my life that day at the fence. I almost thought I imagined you."

A low chuckle left both of them. "Yeah, you were out of your damn mind, Grimes." She sat up completely and crossed her legs facing him. "But I understood. Hell, up until then I still talked to Mike. It was not as often due to Andrea but it happened."

He nodded before his tongue swiped across his bottom lip. "Things with Lori weren't perfect. They weren't even good most days. They were barely tolerable but I had pushed that to the back of my mind not wanting to taint her memory." He let out a deep breath. "I started picking up as many shifts as I could to stay out of the toxic environment we had created." His eyes stared into hers before he closed them and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Carl kept us together and I think he was the only reason we didn't call it quits. She thought I had been dead for a month before she slept with my best friend. I doubt she even grieved." Michonne didn't know what to say, so she let him finish. "I grieved her for damn near a year and she barely took two weeks before she was bangin' Shane." He hadn't thought about this in a while. The pain wasn't fresh any longer but he was still hurt. Not at Lori or Shane but at himself for not ending it before it had even got to that point. "But all of that prepared me for you. It helped me to become a better man. I won't make the same mistakes."

"I know." Michonne offered him a small smile. "You're a good man, Rick. You carry a lot on your back and I just want you to know that you are appreciated. No one is perfect but you try and that's all I can ask for. Your best is enough. Look at how far you've gotten us."

He leaned over and kissed her lips, resting his forehead against hers. He appreciated her too. She was everything he wanted and needed. "I love you, Michonne."

"I love you too, Rick."

**The End.**

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_A/N: Thanks for sticking with me through **my** thoughts and interpretations. It's been a fun ride. Hope y'all enjoyed this story. _


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